Sexual Healing
Not your average cleansing flood
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| Sexual Healing Posted: November 27, 2004 |
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Sacred sex is the most powerful healing force in creation.
This is because sex energy is life energy, the animating force of life itself. Nothing is deeper or more fundamental to life. When used in a healing way, nothing is more powerful.
Sex has power to heal when you cultivate, expand, and circulate your sex energy (life energy) throughout your body. This occurs naturally through sacred sex. This is the basis for sexual healing.
Sexual healing starts with the healing power of sex itself.
Sex - even conventional sex - stimulates your life energy, and with it, all the bodily processes that create healthy life.
The health benefits of sex are measureable in real physiological terms. Sex induces numerous physical changes that promote health and well-being. These occur at basic levels -- biochemical and cellular changes that nourish organs, organ systems, and the body as a whole.
Beginning with the sex hormones themselves - testosterone and estrogen - sex boosts steroidal levels, bringing a range of health benefits. (Both hormones are present in both sexes.) Testosterone helps fortify bones and muscles, and keeps you heart healthy. Estrogen plays a role in healthy vascular, skin, and possibly lung function. It also promotes healthy blood platelet, plasma, and lipid (cholesterol) levels.
Other biochemicals also come into healthy balance. Sex - especially sensuous, flowing sacred sex - greatly reduces adrenaline and cortisol levels in the blood. These two 'stress' hormones induce anxiety and reduce immune function. Sex also promotes release of oxytocin and endorphins. Oxytocin has been dubbed the 'love drug', promoting trust, bonding, and displays of affection. Endorphins are natural opiates that reduce pain and increase pleasure and bliss.
Many articles and research studies have touted the healing power of sex. Below is just one example from (of all places) Forbes Magazine:
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In one of the most credible studies correlating overall health with sexual frequency, Queens University in Belfast tracked the mortality of about 1,000 middle-aged men over the course of a decade. The study was designed to compare people of similar age and health. Its findings, published in 1997 in the British Medical Journal, were that men who reported the highest frequency of orgasm enjoyed a death rate half that of the laggards. Other studies (some rigorous, some less so) purport to show that having sex even a few times a week has an associative or causal relationship with the following:
Improved sense of smell: After sex, production of the hormone prolactin surges. This, in turn, causes stem cells in the brain to develop new neurons in the brain's olfactory bulb, its smell center.
Reduced risk of heart disease: In a 2001 follow-up to the Queens University study mentioned above, researchers focused on cardiovascular health. Their finding? That by having sex three or more times a week, men reduced their risk of heart attack or stroke by half.
Weight loss, overall fitness: Sex, if nothing else, is exercise. A vigorous bout burns some 200 calories — about the same as running 15 minutes on a treadmill or playing a spirited game of squash. The pulse rate, in a person aroused, rises from about 70 beats per minute to 150, the same as that of an athlete putting forth maximum effort.
....
Reduced depression: [In a] study of 293 women in 2002...[,] American psychologist Gordon Gallup reported that sexually active participants whose male partners did not use condoms were less subject to depression than those whose partners did. One theory of causality: Prostoglandin, a hormone found only in semen, may be absorbed in the female genital tract, thus modulating female hormones.
Pain relief: Immediately before orgasm, levels of the hormone oxytocin surge to five times their normal level. This, in turn, releases endorphins, which alleviate the pain of everything from headaches to arthritis to even migraines. In women, sex also prompts production of estrogen, which can reduce the pain of PMS.
Less frequent colds and flu: Wilkes University in Pennsylvania says individuals who have sex once or twice a week show 30 percent higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A, which is known to boost the immune system.
[points separated into paragraphs for easier reading]-- Forbes Magazine; Dec., 2006 |
Sex may not cure conditions like heart disease and cancer, but a regular healthy sex life goes a long way toward maintaining general health and preventing ailments like these from arising.
[People with serious symptoms or conditions should seek professional medical advice. Also, sexual activity may not be appropriate for some cardiovascular conditions and others. See our full Medical Disclosure for more information.]
Not only is the sex act healing, so are your sexual juices! Sacred sex tradition has long held that your sexual fluids - male & female ejaculate in particular - have healing powers. It is worth taking a minute to explain the biochemistry of these fluids in order to support healing claims.
(For those unfamiliar with female ejaculate, see Lesson 10 for a full description and methods to induce. Included is evidence showing that female ejaculate is NOT urine.)
We'll start with what male & female ejaculate share in common. This commonality itself is intriguing, though not surprising if you know male & female anatomy. Male and female ejaculate is produced from homologous (corresponding) glands. Skene's glands, responsible for female ejaculate, derive from the same fetal tissue as the male prostate, which contributes prostatic fluid to semen. (In fact, the entire male and female sexual & reproductive systems are homologous -- see Male/Female Androgyny -- the Secret Shared Sexual Anatomy of Men & Women for more on this fascinating topic.)
Science verifies the commonality between female ejaculate and male prostate fluid. Both contain prostate-specific antigen (PSA), a glycoprotein (combined carbohydrate-protein) basic to cellular function. Biochemically, PSA is an enzyme that breaks down proteins for use by the body. (In male ejaculate, it breaks down the coagulated semen so that sperm can swim freely.)
It is surprising enough that PSA, which is produced almost exclusively by the prostate in men for male ejaculate, is present in female ejaculate as well. But it is new research that is more surprising, and points to healing properties for PSA. It turns out that PSA shows up elsewhere in women.
The greatest concentrations of PSA (perhaps aside from female ejaculate) are found in amniotic fluid and breast milk. The former is a primary source of nourishment (along with exchange via the placenta) for the developing fetus. The latter wholly sustains a newborn. This strongly suggests that PSA has nutritive or other life-promoting value. Low concentrations of PSA have also been found in salivary gland tissue, suggesting a role in food digestion.
The second common ingredient in male and female ejaculate is prostatic acid phosphatase (PAP). PAP also has intriguing healing properties. A university study suggests that PAP may have longer lasting pain-relief effects than morphine. In the study, a single dose of PAP lasted for up to three days, compared to five hours for a dose of morphine. The study explains PAP works by converting adenosine triphosphate (ATP), which signals pain, into adenosine, a natural pain suppressant.
Besides these two chemical markers (PSA & PAP), male and female ejaculate share simple sugars as ingredients. Female ejaculate contains large quantities (by proportion) of glucose and fructose. Male prostate fluid likely includes one, and maybe both. (Male prostate fluid, which varies among animal species, typically contains simple sugars, though most sources don't specifically list them in the human type. This is likely due to focus on important chemical markers like PSA & PAP, ignoring the more basic and wide-spread sugars.)
As for healing properties, sugars (carbohydrates) are your body's primary energy source. Cells use glucose for fuel and to mediate metabolism. Glucose starts the process of cellular respiration. Glucose is a basic energy source for virtually every living organism. Fructose is another nutritive sweetener.
Despite the above commonality, male prostate fluid is not exactly identical to female ejaculate. Prostate fluid is milky white in color, whereas female ejaculate is mostly clear. However, descriptions of prostate fluid do not exactly identify the cause of the white color. What's more, female ejaculate is not widely studied, so it is not clear whether there are other common ingredients.
Among the ingredients found in male prostate fluid so far not identified in female ejaculate are calcium, potassium, citric acid, and zinc. Calcium strengthens bones and teeth. Potassium regulates fluid balance, and supports muscle, nerve, heart, and kidney function. Citric acid is a natural preservative.
The best health promoter of all though, may be zinc. Zinc is an essential trace element found in 100 or more specific enzymes. The prostate holds the highest concentrations of zinc in the body. Prostate fluid contains zinc concentrations 500-1,000 times that found in blood.
Zinc plays a role in nearly all biological processes. It interacts with many organic elements, and supports cellular signaling, gene expression, and metabolism of DNA & RNA. Zinc has role in protein synthesis, growth and development, and cell division. It is a mild antioxidant, antimicrobial, and promotes wound healing. You may recognize zinc as a main ingredient in cold medications, as it also supports immune function. Zinc even protects against sunburn, diaper rash, dandruff, and bad breath!
As if all this weren't enough, the healing properties for shukra - semen - continue. Added to prostate fluid are 200-500 million sperm released per ejaculation. The seminal vesicles add fluid of their own, which contains phosphorus, potassium, citric acid, and prostaglandins (mediating hormones that regulate cell growth, among other things). Seminal vesicle fluid also contains enzymes & proteins (responsible for cellular activity, and which here also have antibacterial properties), amino acids (protein building blocks), fructose (nutritional energy source), and good old vitamin C.
In 1975, the American Physiological Society stated that seminal fluid contains "uncommon substances and enzymes that are not found in such large quantities elsewhere in the animal body." Examples besides those already mentioned include inositol (various biological functions), ergothioneine (possible antioxidant), glycerylphosphorylcholine (promotes cognitive functioning), and 5-nucleotidase (promotes cell communication).
What's more, there is research evidence of the health benefit of semen. A 2002 State University of New York study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that semen has anti-depressant in women. Researchers found that women whose partners never used condoms scored lower (showed less depression) than those who sometimes or usually used them.
The results do not come as a complete surprise because semen contains several mood-altering hormones, including testosterone, estrogen, follicle-stimulating hormone, luteinising hormone, prolactin and several different prostaglandins. Some of these have been detected in a women's blood within hours of exposure to semen, absorbed through the vagina. The researchers say they have ruled out other explanations, including simple mood boost from sex itself.
(Note that while semen has healing benefits for women, excessive loss of semen is not healthy for men. During male ejaculation, the same biochemicals - and the metabolic energy required to create them - that nourish her, are lost to him. See the Sexual Health lesson for more on this. By the same token, forced ejaculation for women - that doesn't flow naturally with orgasm - may also be depleting. See the Sacred Sex lesson on Female Ejaculation for more. In the natural context of sacred sex though, your sexual fluids are very healing.)
The life-promoting properties of male & female ejaculate no doubt evolved to support a healthy environment for sperm & egg to conceive. The vagina is normally acidic and patrolled by immune cells, both of which protect it against foreign organisms. Sperm, of course, is one such organism, so in order to create an environment conducive to life, both genders ejaculate fluids that balance the pH of the womb and ward off immune attack.
In fact, the pH balancing effect of male and female ejaculate itself may go a long way toward explaining the health benefit of these fluids (both are alkaline). Many (some say most) health conditions come from an overly acidic system. Alkalinity counters this effect.
It is likely that the healing and immune-boosting properties of male prostate fluid & female ejaculate also evolved as a way to protect the urethra and bladder of both partners, plus her vagina, from infection due to exposure to foreign matter during intercourse.
All this confirms what sacred sex traditions have been teaching for ages -- that your sexual fluids are sacred and have healing powers. It will be for science to determine how much healing biochemistry is assimilated through vaginal absorption, oral ingestion, or topical application - dry terms for sex, swallowing, and rubbing into your body - and exactly what healing benefit they have. One researcher already weighed in on the topic of oral sex: "Since the steroids in birth control pills survive the digestion process, I would assume that the same holds true for at least some of the chemicals in semen."
[It should be noted that some studies claim that semen may have immune-suppressing effects on women. When received into the vagina, semen is recognized as a foreign material, and her body creates antibodies against it. Studies claim that the antibodies mistake some of her own immune cells as foreign, and attack them as well, temporarily reducing levels in the bloodstream. This may mildly compromise her immune response until her body produces more.
When the phenomenon was discovered in guinea pigs, the antibodies were found to be inactive, meaning they did not attack the female's own immune cells. However, studies claim this is not the case in humans. More research is needed to verify and determine exactly the impact.
We also don't know the effect here in the context of semen's overall immune impact. The health benefits of semen already mentioned likely boost immune functioning to produce a net gain. It's worth adding that 98% of this type of immune cell (T-cells) die before maturation anyway, and scientists don't fully understand why any survive. It may well be that sexual healing reduces these self-destructive tendencies of the body.]
While basic sex may benefit body and mind, sacred sex heals mind, body, heart, and soul.
All of the health benefits attributed to sex apply to sacred sex many fold. There are three reasons for this. First, sacred sex lasts longer than regular sex, giving the body extended periods of boosted hormonal levels. Most important, much of the time spent in sacred sex is in a prolonged orgasmic state, flooding the body with hormones merely briefly unleashed during common sex.
Second, the gentler, more fluid pace of sacred sex induces a healthier hormonal release than the frantic, adrenaline rush of common sex.
Third, while conventional sex does release beneficial hormones in the body, it also drains the energy - especially for men by ejaculating - leaving you tired and fatigued. Sacred sex conserves the energy for longer periods, bringing orgasm without ejaculation. Even when emission does occur, sufficient energy is built up to compensate the loss.
But the healing power of sacred sex goes far beyond merely magnifying the health benefits of common sex. Sacred sex brings holistic health that reunites mind & body with inner spirit. This brings bliss, peace, and inner awakening that creates a truly integrated state of health. Your enlightened spirit feeds your mind continuously, promoting psychological and emotional health. These in turn produce the healthy biochemistry that builds strong bodies.
The healing power of sacred sex derives from the experience of Sacred Union.
Sacred Union is the Ultimate Healer. That is because all illness ultimately stems from division of your male & female essence within.
The natural human state - and also your natural healthy state - is a harmonious union your inner male & female essence. Your inner male essence is who you are -- your state of being. Your inner female essence is what you do -- your dynamic flow of life. Male is your identity; female is your activity. Everyone, both genders, have both essences within.
It is a simple fact that everything in creation acts (female) according to what it is. A lion prowls and roars because that's what it is. A ball bounces and rolls because that's what it is. Planets orbit around stars because that's what they are. This is the natural order of things -- what scientists call natural law. So long as things follow the natural order, all is well.
On one level, natural law in you is your own nature -- your natural tendencies, desire, and personality. That is who you are -- your DNA. You must act in harmony with that. But you are also more than your DNA.
Human beings, with our evolved free will, have the capacity to follow their nature or not. Following your nature - acting in accord with who you are - brings evolution, happiness, and health. Not following natural law within brings problems, suffering, and disease.
If this is so, why would anyone not follow their own nature? How can anyone not follow their own nature anyway?
The truth is that we always do follow our own nature, as best we know it. As best we understand ourselves to be, that is how we act. The trouble is, we typically don't have a very deep awareness of who we are. If we don't know our true inner male, how can our true inner female express?
Sacred sex, by an activity that is fundamentally basic to who we are - sexual beings - takes us to an identity beyond that: pure orgasmic bliss. Through regular and extended experience of orgasmic bliss - as opposed to the fleeting, transient experience in common sex - we more and more identify ourselves with that. We awaken to and realize that our true inner being - our inner male - IS that. We are that Pure Bliss. This is what enlightened sages throughout history have proclaimed.
When we awaken to our inner identity as bliss, we begin to act according to that nature. Our inner female comes into harmony with our inner male. We know our true self, and act accordingly. This is Sacred Union lived in daily life. It marries that which is male in life with that which is female, restoring wholeness to life.
We can also hasten Sacred Union by coming into harmony with our inner female in activity. Our inner female, our nature, expresses itself through our natural desires. Following your desire in daily life aligns you with your nature, and brings health, happiness, and progress to life. This is the healing power of desire. For ways to discover and live your true desire, see Follow Your Heart.
Of course, sex is one such desire, very powerful and basic to life. Following your sexual desire is part of coming into harmony with your inner female. It is part of the healing power of desire and leads to Sacred Union.
Sacred Union restores the natural order of life. It restores the lost union between inner male and female that leads to sickness and suffering. Sacred Union - by restoring wholeness - heals and maintains holistic health.
One specific sacred sex practice has special health benefit -- sacred sexercise, as taught in Lesson 4.
Sexercise heals because sex energy is life energy. You feel this connection yourself when you practice. Not only are you sexually aroused, but also your general energy and vitality pick up. It's like a pick-me-up -- a quick, natural energy boost.
Sacred sexercise stimulates the flow of your life energy, invigorating, rejuvenating, and healing your body. Sexercise doesn't so much heal itself; rather it stimulates your body's own healing power to take over.
Sexercise gives immediate healing relief and also builds up over time for broader healing benefit. Building up your life energy builds up the very basis of life. Every metabolic process derives its function from the energy at its disposal. If life energy is low these processes fail, crippling health. If life energy is strong, the body functions as it should, promoting health and warding off disease.
Sacred sexercise acts like a pump -- each muscle squeeze amps up your life energy another notch. The endorphins - pleasure hormones - released as you squeeze put the body in a deeply relaxed state, allowing you to heal to your very core. Your sexercise muscles themselves are your core muscles; working and strengthening them invigorates the whole body.
Best of all, sexercise is completely discreet and can be done virtually any time, with or without a partner, during or outside of sex. (See Lesson 4 for practice method and details.)
With sexercise, every day becomes a 'shot in the arm', boosting your energy and immune system. If you do sacred sexercise during sex, not only will your sex life improve, but also every sex session becomes therapeutic. Sex becomes strong medicine.
Sacred sexercise gives a whole new meaning to the term 'sex therapy'.
Aside from all these general health and healing benefits, there are also practices that heal specific sexual, psychological, and emotional issues. Such practice is called 'intentional healing', as opposed to the general healing benefits of sex and sacred sex. It is these practices that we most commonly refer to as 'sexual healing'.
Sexual healing is so powerful because the healing occurs while the body is flooded with endorphins, and therefore in a deeply relaxed and pleasureful state. The healing therapy sinks in deeper. Plus, endorphins themselves have healing impact.
Sexual healing is most commonly used to treat issues like sexual dysfunction, repression, trauma and abuse, obsession and addiction, and sexual shame and guilt. It also treats related issues involving relationships, heart-break and other emotional distress, and low sexual esteem or body image.
Sexual healing reminds us, and in some cases shows for the first time, that the body gives also joy & pleasure, not just suffering, aches, and pain. More important, it nurtures the experience that the body is meant to bring happiness to life. This shifts the biochemistry that our minds create from one that perpetuates suffering to one that begins building health and happiness.
More broadly, sexual healing may remind us that life in general is a happy, pleasureful, positive experience, and is meant to be that. It sets in motion chains of events that create that everyday reality.
People who have endured much pain & suffering in the body due to illness, injury, or other physical condition, eventually come to expect that bodily experience. The mind perpetuates the experience of suffering in the body. (Physiologists are becoming more and more aware of the link between psychology and the biochemistry that builds up physical cells. This points to a direct link between our psychological state and physical health. Biochemistry has even been shown to impact genetic expression -- which of our genes express themselves and which remain dormant.) Sexual healing reminds us what it feels like to enjoy energy and pleasure from the body. The biochemistry produced during sexual healing creates new cells & tissues born of joy & pleasure, not pain.
The same is true for people who have experienced psychological or emotional trauma or abuse. They often find that the rest of their lives are colored by that deeply ingrained negative experience. Sexual healing replaces that with an even deeper experience of inner peace, nurturing safety and security, joy, and pleasure. This deeper, more intimate experience - which we recognize as our true nature - roots out the imposed negative one. It reminds us of the joy of life. In time, this revived joy creates a joyful everyday life.
The simplest and most basic sexual healing practice you can do is sacred sexercise, introduced above and taught in Lesson 4.
During sexercise, you contract the core muscles relating to sexuality. This creates the psychological & physiological effect of drawing in your sexual energy.
During conventional sex, your sex energy leaves the body through your genitals. This is why, despite the pleasure during sex, you may feel drained and depleted after. Sexercise counteracts this by drawing your sexual energy in.
In cases of sexual trauma and abuse (including from sexual violence like rape), the loss of sexual energy is more devastating. In such cases, your sexual energy - by way of your sexual innocence, honor, and dignity - has been taken from you by another. It may leave you with the feeling that you can never get it back.
In a similar but more subtle way, culturally imposed feelings of guilt and shame about sex, and other forms of repression, steal your natural sexual innocence. This theft also deprives you of your sexual energy by shutting it down. Self-imposed low body or sexual esteem has the same effect.
Relationship heartache and other love-related distress likewise shut down your sexual energy. It's as if your partner, or lack of one, deprives you of your sexual energy by not being the recipient you want.
Last, many forms of sexual dysfunction result from life-long patterns of energy loss. These include erectile dysfunction, impotence, performance anxiety, and premature ejaculation. Likewise, issues of sexual obsession and addiction arise from the loss of energy during common sex. This repeated loss of your life essence leaves a craving emptiness inside that you seek to satisfy by more sex. But common sex only drains you more, feeding the obsession.
In all these cases, your sexual energy is lost and/or shut down, depriving you of not only its healing power, but also the joy & pleasure it brings. And because it's your life energy, not just sex energy, it can cause psychological, emotional, and physical problems - including sickness & disease - not directly related to sex.
Sacred sexercise heals all these conditions in time because it restores lost sexual energy and re-starts shut down energy. Sexercise is a very real and practical way to reclaim your lost sexual energy and innocence. This 'reclaiming' of what has been lost, taken, or stolen from you is especially vital in cases of sexual violence, trauma, and abuse. When you sexercise, you will begin to once again feel whole and complete. It is a way for you to give yourself that which someone else took from you.
This is empowering not only for the reasons already stated, but also because it frees you from being a victim of your past. You no longer must live with the fact that the event(s) happened and there is nothing you can do about it. Now you know within yourself that you can do something about it. You can heal yourself. You can say to yourself that, "Yes, this happened to me, but now I can do something to heal myself from that experience." That in itself is liberating.
In reclaiming your sexual energy, honor, and innocence, sexercise heals your body, mind, heart, and soul. It feeds all these from within with your own life essence. It is true intensive care life support -- and it's free.
Below are some simple ways to use sacred sexercise for healing:
Lie comfortably in bed in a fetal position. Fetal position itself is very nurturing to the spirit, hearkening back to the safety of the womb. Practice sexercise as taught in Lesson 4 for 15-30 minutes, or as long as comfortable. Try both rhythmic pulsing and squeeze-and-hold methods. Continue with both as desired, or whichever feels better or has the best effect.
You can do this practice on your own; good times to do it are in the morning when you wake up (start your day with healing) or in bed at night before sleep (end your day with healing for good night sleep). It is completely inconspicuous and no one need know. If you have time and feel to do it midday when others are present, just say you need to rest and excuse yourself for a short while.
As you progress over time, you'll find that the fetal position is less important, and that you can give yourself a healing boost through sexercise when sitting comfortably, walking, or doing simple tasks like driving or cooking. You can also sexercise whenever you find yourself in situations that make you feel vulnerable (likely ones that relate to or in some way remind you of the bad experience). Sexercise will give you a sense of security. (Note though, that sexercise does not guarantee security in the physical sense; you should still take precaution to avoid or protect yourself in threatening situations.)
Feelings of vulnerability may come up during sex itself, even with a loving partner. In these cases too, sacred sexercise (together with tender lovemaking) will give you a sense of inner safety, security, and strength. It reassures you that no one can take your sexual honor or innocence away again.
You can sexercise on your own at virtually any time. Do it instead of some of the numbing activities - TV, eating - you currently do to avoid healing. (If nothing else, sexercise while you watch TV; however, sexercise is not recommended while eating. See Lesson 4 for more details on when and how to practice.)
If you have a partner you want to include in your healing, you can do the in-bed practice above while in the Sacred Spoons position described in Lesson 3, with your partner behind you. If your partner is male, you can sexercise with or without penetration, as you desire. If you choose to accompany it with sexual penetration, it is best to start without active intercourse. Have your partner enter you and lie still with you while you sexercise. Later, if you want, either you or he can rock gently and rhythmically as you sexercise. Or he can hold you tight and you both can rock in unison. Rhythmic rocking also has a soothing, healing influence on the body.
If your partner is female, she can reach under and press or massage your Sacred Spot. (Sacred Spot massage is described briefly in Lessons 4 & 4b. There are complete teachings for her in Lesson 8 and for him in Lesson 9. Specific adaptations for healing are given later in this lesson.) Your partner may find it easier to press or massage using a turned-off vibrator or other male organ substitute. This applies whether you are male or female yourself, but particularly if you're female due to your sacred spot location.
You can also lie atop your partner in union and sexercise while gently rocking. You can do rock two ways. With your legs drawn up so that your knees are beside your partner's torso, you can rock in the direction of your head & feet. With your legs extended, you can rock your pelvis from side to side. You needn't exert much energy; it's more like gently rolling around atop your partner. Maintain full contact with your partner; use his/her body to rest on. Either partner can be on top, so long as the bottom partner can comfortably support the weight.
If you practice yoga, or want to incorporate a simple yoga posture into your healing practice, sexercise while resting comfortably in the yoga 'child pose'. On a soft floor or mat, kneel with knees together on the floor. Bend forward all the way until your forehead touches the floor (use a cushion or pillow if you want, or turn your head to the side if it's more comfortable). In this variation, rest your arms at your side (not stretched overhead as is often done). Child pose closely resembles the fetal position (likely where it gets its name), and has the same soothing, healing effect. Don't stay too long though as it may bother your knees.
Because sexercise can be done outside of sex and in non-sexual contexts, it is useful even for people for whom sex is emotionally or physically painful, as is common in trauma and abuse cases. If this is your experience, start without any sexual context, and introduce it only if and when you feel comfortable with it. If sexercise itself is too painful or sexual, lie in bed in fetal position with your right hand over your heart and left hand in the 'Covering' position described in Lesson 4b (pleasure-flex sexercise). Simply hold yourself in this nurturing and healing position, without doing sexercise. ('Covering' can also be done with sexercise, for those who wish to add it to their healing.)
As mentioned above, sexercise is also empowering because you can do it on your own -- you don't need a partner or professional guidance (though sexercise is no substitute for professional counseling you may be receiving). One more advantage of sexercise is that you can go at your own pace, according to what you feel you are ready for.
As your sexercise muscles strengthen, you will be able to reclaim your sexual energy in a powerful way, sending waves of healing energy throughout your body.
Be aware that sexercise may bring up emotions or memories relating to the traumatic event. These may not be pleasant, but often occur when we reawaken areas in life, like our sexuality, that have been shut down. If these come up mildly, you can continue with your sexercise practice so long as it's comfortable. If physical or emotional sensations are overpowering, or memories are too painful, stop sexercise and let your attention just be with the thought or sensation.
In these cases, your body has brought the experience up for conscious processing. Typically, when traumatic events occur, we repress them to protect our conscious mind -- we shove them under the rug. Sexercise is like house-cleaning and may stir up the dust. All that's needed is to consciously acknowledge it. Accept it as it is, neither mourning it, wishing it away, or ill-will toward those responsible -- your body is asking you only to accept that it happened. It is what it is, and now it's on its way out.
Remember, your body will never bring up an experience it is not ready to process and heal. Every pain processed this way is gone for good.
When the sensation is no longer overwhelming, either continue sexercise if you have the energy and are so inclined, or more commonly, rest or sleep and let your body recover and revitalize. You will feel a big relief - a weight off your life - when you get up.
If you are undergoing counseling for your situation, sexercise is a complementary practice.
Sacred sexercise is a simple and powerful way to start on the road to sexual healing.
Massage is a powerful healer because of the pleasure it brings to painful areas. This restores the natural relationship you have with your body and breaks the cycle of dis-ease in which the mind creates a body that expects to feel pain. In time, this restores health.
Massage is doubly powerful when combined with sex - especially sacred sex - because of the added endorphins that flood the body during sex. Massage spreads your healing biochemistry throughout your body, and can target specific areas in need of healing. If you need healing, even from mild stress & strain, you'll find great pleasure and relief adding massage to your sex play as taught in Lesson 5. Lesson 5 gives numerous techniques for pleasuring different parts of the body.
You can also use virtually any massage technique you learn from a professional masseuse or healer during sex or together with sexercise as a targeted healing practice.
One particularly healing technique is 'Open Heart Massage' as taught in Lesson 5. No, this is not a surgical procedure; it is a beautiful massage technique designed to open your heart emotionally, and to heal it from trauma that has shut it down. Open Heart Massage can be done in a completely non-sexual way, or with penetration. As with penetration during sexercise, if used for healing, penetration should be still or with gentle rocking only. Over time as you heal and open up, your partner can massage you this way during more active intercourse. Those who don't need healing, but who are simply looking for a loving, nurturing, and bonding addition to sex can add Open Heart Massage too.
The most powerful sexual healing massage technique of all is Sacred Spot massage. Your Sacred Spot is your sexual center and core. It is that physical spot in your body most directly linked to orgasm, even if not directly stimulated to achieve orgasm. When you experience orgasm, your Sacred Spot is the area most involved. Its spontaneous contractions are responsible for the pulsing orgasm you feel.
(Because we don't typically stimulate the Sacred Spot directly during sex, awareness of its link to orgasm may be overshadowed. Men typically identify the lingam - penis - most closely with orgasm; women commonly associate climax with the clitoris. Nevertheless, despite the indirect ways we stimulate and the intense pleasure we get from these 'secondary organs', it is the Sacred Spot - the female G-Spot and the male prostate region - that is most responsible for orgasm itself.) Since orgasm is the consummate sexual experience, the Sacred Spot is therefore the center and core of our sexuality.
All that information is unimportant detail to explain why Sacred Spot massage is such a powerful healing practice. Your Sacred Spot is the core of your sexuality. Stimulating it gets to the very core of sexual issues you may face, and heals them.
Sacred Spot massage can be a highly pleasureful practice in its own right, especially when combined with other sex play. Basic explanation and instruction on how to do it are given in Lesson 8 for her and Lesson 9 for him. However, an adapted practice is better suited to sexual healing.
Below are some points to transform general Sacred Spot massage into a healing practice. This method should be used in place of regular Sacred Spot massage if you have experienced sexual trauma or abuse, or have sexual issues that inhibit your sex life and/or life in general. Sacred Spot massage can also be used for healing minor issues, and is even beneficial for those without distinct issues, as it works on your deepest core, freeing up restricted life energy. In these cases, Sacred Spot massage can be used for healing as an occasional alternative to general Sacred Spot massage or other sex play. However, if sexual issues or trauma make sex and sex pleasure uncomfortable, you should use only Sacred Spot healing massage.
While Sacred Spot healing is most commonly performed on women, it is equally healing for men, especially in cases of childhood abuse. It is likely that its popularity with women is more due to social norms than actual healing value. It's unfortunate that it is more socially acceptable for women to pursue healing than for men; the need may be present for both.- Before beginning, you should understand the purpose and method of Sacred Spot healing massage. This allays fear of the unknown and builds trust in the healing process. It also prepares you to accept the intimate physical contact that Sacred Spot massage entails.
You should also know that strong feelings or emotions can come up during healing (sometimes called 'emotional release'), that these are alright, and to accept them simply as wounds on their way out. (Memories may also come up.) Crying is alright. Fear and anxiety may come up, but other emotions, like relief, joy, and laughter may also come up. All these are fine; just express them (or inwardly acknowledge and accept them), and move on as they subside. Don't deny your experience, but also don't wallow in it. Take a simple, innocent, neutral attitude toward whatever comes up.
- Begin by having your partner hold you in his or her arms. If you are comfortable with communicating your feelings, share how you feel about the event, the experience it has left you with, your desire for healing, and/or what you hope to gain from the healing. Your partner can also share his or her feelings about the same. One or both of you can also, or alternatively, state a conscious intention for healing -- more formal wording that you may have thought through or written down beforehand, clarifying your desire and intent to heal. This clears your mind and prepares you to absorb and process your healing deeply. If verbal communication is difficult, just do 'knowing holding' -- holding each other in your arms, knowing the purpose for which you're coming together, and desiring within to heal. Gazing into each other's eyes during this may help. Loving partners can communicate everything through their eyes. Tears and even sobbing may come up before you even start. This is fine; just be with them until they subside, then begin healing.
- To receive Sacred Spot massage, lie down comfortably on your bed. Bed is an ideal place to receive Sacred Spot massage because it carries a sense of safety and deep, restful healing. (You can also receive Sacred Spot massage from a professional, in a therapeutic setting; this also is ideal.) You may wish to surround yourself with pillows, blankets, or other items to create a protective 'cocoon' for added security. Anything that recreates the healing environment of the womb will help.
- Disrobe in a way that is comfortable for you. The easiest solution is to wear a robe for the session, with nothing under. This allows you - or your partner, if you wish - to easily open the robe after you lie down, while still keeping it partially on for added security. Some people may feel comfortable, and even desire to disrobe completely for the massage. That also is fine; attire is up to you.
- Before beginning the massage itself, the massage giver (positioned beside the receiver) places one hand over the receiver's heart, then after a moment, cups the other hand over the genitals. (If the receiver is tentative, especially the first time, the giver can cover the heart first, wait and say, "Nod when you're ready for more intimate contact." This gives the receiver control over the situation, and choice to proceed when ready. Also, if preferred, this entire step can be done before disrobing, as a gentle transition to massage, since first physical touch will be through clothes, not on bare skin. This especially helps when a non-intimate friend or healer is doing the massage, or when the receiver is uncomfortable with touch itself.)
While cupping the genitals, gently lift up toward the receiver's head. Don't squeeze, but give a slightly firmer hold. The feeling is one of a security blanket. With the hand, the giver says to the receiver, "I am holding and supporting you. I will protect and care for you." This builds trust for healing.
- Next, the giver asks permission to begin the massage itself. This again lets the receiver know that they control the situation and need only proceed when ready. This step is especially important when the massage giver is male and the receiver is female. Many women who receive healing have experienced sexual trauma or abuse, almost always at the hands of men. Such experience leaves them feeling violated and vulnerable, and distrusting of men in general. Asking permission to touch and massage this most intimate sexual center helps rebuild the trust that was lost. Even if you are the receiver's husband or intimate lover, you should include this step. It tells her that in this particular case, you are coming to her to give - for her healing benefit - not to take or receive sexual pleasure of your own.
It is also vital because the female Sacred Spot is inside her body, and accessed only by physically entering her body. The massage giver must let her know that she will not be violated against her will in this most exposed condition. (The male Sacred Spot is also inside his body, but is commonly massaged via the external perineum, which is immediately adjacent. For rectal Sacred Spot massage of men, this step also has added importance.)
The wording for this step can vary depending on the psychological state of the receiver, but for most deep healing sessions involving physical entry, the following is best: "When you're ready, please give me permission to enter your body and begin your healing." For men receiving external massage, use: "When you're ready, please give me permission to massage your Sacred Spot and begin your healing." If you are doing more casual healing where no serious sexual issues are involved, a simple, "Let me know when you're ready to begin" is sufficient.
- For the massage itself, use just the basic stroke taught in the main lesson -- commonly called the 'come hither' stroke. Healing Sacred Spot massage should also be slow and gentle; no rapid or vigorous massage. This allows the body to relax and gives deep seated sexual issues time to surface and heal. There should be no conscious attempt to stimulate or sexually arouse the receiver. If the receiver gets aroused anyway, it is okay, but do not encourage it. If the receiver gets highly aroused, or expresses the desire for more stimulating massage, gently remind them that the session is for healing, and that there will be time to pursue sexual pleasures later (or at home, if you are in a professional setting).
The one exception to this may be if a female receiver is pre-orgasmic or currently unable to orgasm, and enters into healing to resolve this issue. In such cases, allow arousal to climax if it naturally occurs, but again, don't actively seek it. In such cases, especially where the condition results from past trauma or abuse, what is needed to open the body to orgasm is not stimulation, but rather building trust in sexual relationships, reconnecting with one's body as a source of pleasure, connecting emotion to physical pleasure, and similar healing. These are best facilitated through healing Sacred Spot massage, not the stimulating version.
- While giving massage, maintain eye contact with your partner. This keeps your partner grounded, prevents them from getting too lost in memories that may come up, and gives your partner a constant sense of security -- that you are there for her or him. It is okay for the receiver to have eyes closed for periods, but it's not good to be completely withdrawn. If you feel your partner is too lost in inner experience, gently say, "Gaze into my eyes; I'm here for you."
- As massage healer, be aware of your partner's experiences, both physical and emotional. If you sense discomfort or hesitation to continue, stop massaging for a moment and hold the hands still. Continue massage when your partner settles.
If strong releases come up, the giver should stop all motion and simply hold the receiver with hands in their current position. (Honor any request by the receiver to stop the massage, discontinue contact, or be left alone. Reassure them with, "It's okay, just rest quietly. I'm here for anything you need.")
Aside from Sacred Spot massage, yoni and lingam massage can also be used for sexual healing. These are taught in the main lessons along with Sacred Spot massage. When using yoni and lingam massage for healing (rather than pleasure), the same principles apply as for healing Sacred Spot massage.
If you have experienced sexual trauma or abuse, among the emotions that may come up during sexual healing - whether through Sacred Spot massage or other specific practice, or general sacred sex - are fear and anxiety. If these are strong enough, you may not wish to continue your healing session.
In such cases, follow the general guidance given above -- stop what you're doing and allow yourself to feel and consciously process the emotional pain. Sacred Sex Lesson 17 gives more information on understanding and dealing with 'obstacles' like these that come up. When the fear sensation subsides - as it typically does after several minutes, continue healing if you feel to, or rest or sleep. If it doesn't subside, stop healing and just rest or sleep.
'Covering', as mentioned above, is powerful healing for this type of experience, because it acknowledges your sexuality without having to use it in any way.
Sexual activity elicits fear for trauma victims because the thought of sex reminds them of the abuse. If, added to that, you are expected to sexually perform - even if it is simply experiencing the effect of Sacred Spot massage - it compounds the fear with anxiety.
'Covering' brings your attention to your sexuality - allowing you to process and heal your emotional wounds - without asking you to perform. You can give your entire healing attention to the emotions you feel.
In this way, by doing the least, you accomplish the most.
If fear and anxiety are so much that you don't even want to begin sexual healing or sacred sex, proceed in baby steps. Just as we learn to walk and talk in small steps, so can we re-learn the lost joy and pleasure of sex. Try the following Sacred Steps to Healing. Use these as a lead-up to either Sacred Spot healing massage, general sacred sex, or any other sexual healing practice. Go from step to step as trust, confidence, and desire build.
(For all steps, partner receiving healing is passive while other partner is active, e.g. massaging, embracing, or 'covering'. Exceptions are the last two steps, in which the partner being healed may actively participate as desired.)
Clothed:
- lie together in Sacred Spoons position (see Lesson 3)
- practice 'Covering' (over the clothes) in Sacred Spoons position
- light massage of sexual parts (over the clothes) in Sacred Spoons position
Unclothed:
- lie together in Sacred Spoons position
- 'Covering' in Sacred Spoons position
- lie still together in face-to-face embrace
- hold fingers on Sacred Spot in Sacred Spoons position
- healing Sacred Spot massage in Sacred Spoons position
- light massage of sexual parts in Sacred Spoons position
- face-to-face embrace w/penetration, no motion
- face-to-face embrace w/penetration and sacred sexercise only
- face-to-face embrace w/penetration, gentle sacred sex
The last step, which gently active sacred sex, is especially healing if the man does not ejaculate. The reason for this is that it reaffirms the ideal of sex in the mind of the partner being healed.
Through sexual violence and abuse, sex is dragged down to its lowest level. Your most intimate self is violated against your will. This lasting impression and image of sex gets etched in your mind. Every time you engage in sex thereafter, even with a loving partner, you may feel - even unconsciously - that their intent is to use you only for their pleasure.
Non-ejaculatory sex - sometimes called 'coitus reservatus' or 'karezza' - is especially healing for women who have suffered abuse at the hands of men. By not consummating sex in the common way - through ejaculation - you affirm in her mind that you are not there for physical gratification, but rather to heal her. This is a powerfully healing message. It roots out the impression left by abuse that others want only to take pleasure from her.
While the effect is subtler for men, non-ejaculatory sex has similar healing power. Most males suffer abuse as children, when they, like women, are taken advantage of by others who are bigger and stronger. The sense that others have violated them merely for pleasure is the same. If the abuse is at the hands of other men, scars may include emasculation. Here too, something is taken from him -- his masculinity.
If you are a male in this situation, non-ejaculatory sex affirms in your own mind that sex does not have to 'steal' your manhood. In retaining your seed, you preserve your male essence. Nor must sexual pleasure even come at the expense of your manhood. You can enjoy both. Like for women, this is a powerfully healing message that you send yourself about sex. It roots out the impression that sex steals your manhood leftover from the abuse.
Also if you're male and receiving healing, non-ejaculation has the added value of saving your sexual energy to revitalize and rejuvenate your body. This aids the healing process.
Not ejaculating during sex does not mean you & your partner should avoid orgasm. On the contrary, orgasm without ejaculation for men - called sacred orgasm - is a powerful healing experience in itself. It leads to Sacred Union, the Ultimate Healer.
While sacred orgasm is not the aim of sexual healing, if the experience or desire for it naturally comes up, by all means enjoy it.
When you have progressed through the steps and are comfortable with non-ejaculatory sex, you have come a long way in your sexual healing. You are now ready for general sacred sex as healing therapy.
The Sacred Steps to Healing are not meant to be completed in one session. Rather, they are a slow process that may take weeks or months to proceed through, as you feel comfortable. They are meant for extreme cases where sexual contact is emotionally painful.
While most of the healing from sexual trauma and abuse is emotional, there is an intellectual component as well. Too often, what society says about the experience - and what we believe and tell ourselves about it - only perpetuates the pain and hinders healing.
Sexual healing advocates an innocent, honest, non-judgmental view toward your experience, past and present. Be truthful to yourself about how you feel toward the past event(s) and your current wounds.
Set aside what family, friends, mentors & counselors, society, and religion all say about the act or event. Set aside how they say you should feel about it. Set aside even what you yourself think you should feel about it.
Instead, just feel for yourself and let that tell you how you feel. Let yourself feel that about the experience.
Innocent, honest feeling encourages healing. Allow yourself to feel this way, and note how your feelings change over time, as you heal. This is a way to witness and watch over your own healing.
Sacred Union is the ultimate healer of fear, separation, and loneliness, which you may feel as a result of sexual trauma and abuse. Fear, isolation, and similar emotions arise from duality. Only if there is a sense of 'me' and 'others' can fear arise. Only then are there 'others' whom one can fear. Only if there is a sense of 'I' and 'creation' can isolation arise. Only then is there a world out there in which you can feel alone.
Duality is real and a part of life, but there is a deeper truth and reality of life that consumes duality when you awaken to it -- Unity.
Real Unity - which you gain through experience of Sacred Union in sacred sex - heals all wounds caused by duality. It instills in your heart and mind the truth that you are a universal being in harmony and at one with all creation. It fills your heart and mind with the emotion of Unity -- Love. Love unites. Pure, Unconditional Love unites all, and flows when you awaken to Unity. Love conquers and washes away all fear, doubt, isolation, and depression. Love in the state of Unity triumphs over all.
This is the sexual healing power of Sacred Union. You can learn more about this experience in the Sacred Union forum. Learn more about awakening to Unity in the Sexual Enlightenment forum.
Along with internal issues you may be facing is the very real condition of currently living in a relationship of physical and/or sexual abuse. In such cases, apart from any help you may receive to heal from such abuse, you should also seek outside help to end the relationship. Oftentimes, when trapped in an abusive relationship, we are so entangled in our emotional ties to the abusive person that it is hard to see our way clear to get out of the relationship. We may feel that we deserve the abuse or that we'll never find anything better, or that things will change in the future. Or we may feel we don't have the resources or support to leave the relationship.
Getting outside help - whether from family, friends, professionals, or even law enforcement - brings an objective view of the relationship, free of emotional dependencies. This can help you see clear to do what's best for your total well-being. If nothing else and you have nowhere to turn, pick up a phone book and call an abuse hotline. They will connect you with services that can help.
Below are some internet resources based in the United States:
Sexual abuse, trauma, and violence can be debilitating, and typically call for professional help beyond what is offered here. However, sexual healing can go a long way toward contributing to your total healing.
In addition to the general healing power of sacred sex, the specific healing practice of Sacred Spot massage, and the Sacred Steps to Healing outlined above, visual imagery can be a powerful healer. Sometimes the best medicine is simply to envision yourself as whole again.
Imagery is even more powerful when there is collective energy and tradition around it. It is one thing to travel your own journey down the road to healing, but it becomes much easier when you walk a road that many have walked before you, and walk with you today, sharing support and encouragement. Given the universal need for such healing, it is not surprising that there is an ancient and popular image associated with the process of rising up from the ashes of a life left behind.
The image is that of a phoenix bird rising from the flames of fire. Often called simply, 'Phoenix Rising', this image dates back to Greek Mythology (possibly much earlier to India), and spread throughout the ancient world to Egypt, Persia, Rome, Russia, China, Japan, and East Africa. It has even made its way into Christian imagery, coming to symbolize the Resurrection of Christ after Crucifixion in early Catholic art. Modern day Lebanon, home of an ancient culture with likely common name origin - Phoenicia - is often symbolized as a phoenix that has been destroyed and rebuilt 7 times over its long history. Many Lebanese still refer to themselves as sons & daughters of the Phoenix.
The common myth surrounding the phoenix is that of a long-lived bird that builds a nest for itself at the end of life, which then ignites, burning the bird to ashes. From the ashes, the phoenix rises, born anew to live again. Below is some of the ancient imagery associated with this myth.
Below is a modern depiction, showing the phoenix rising above and leaving its former self behind (artist unknown):
In modern times many groups and individuals have adopted the image as a symbol of healing for various causes, including sexual trauma and abuse. Some women's groups have adapted the name and imagery to 'Goddess Rising'. These images give great comfort, solace, and solidarity to women facing this ordeal. Below are two depictions of Goddess Rising.
© Lisa Iris; prints may be available for purchase -- visit her website
(artist unknown)
The Society for Sacred Sexuality is deeply committed to ending and healing the long history of suppression, discrimination, violence, and abuse against women. As part of this commitment, we seek to open Goddess Rising healing centers around the world, including in Lebanon to symbolize this ancient heritage.
If you are currently enduring the process of healing from sexual trauma or abuse - whether you are male or female - know that you are not alone. This imagery, with the countless souls that have relied on it in their own times of need, can help you regain the wholeness that is core, birthright, and true inner nature. Others may act toward you in devastating ways, but they cannot change the truth of who you are.
As bad as the damage of the act itself, the worst effect of such action is that it changes your perception of who you are. It may make you feel dirty, defiled, unworthy, alone, violated, vulnerable, or a host of other haunting emotions. These have stayed with you, and continue to stay with you because you believe them, long after the act itself.
Phoenix and Goddess Rising imagery reminds you of the Pure Being of Light that you truly are, and inspires you to shed the old baggage of acts perpetrated by others, and reclaim your sexual honor, innocence, and dignity. The best response to those who did this to you is to rise above what they have done - burn it to ashes - and live your truth as you choose it.
You are a god or goddess, with God and Goddess in you. Nothing and no one can take that away. Reclaim yourself.
Another issue that may benefit from sexual healing is physical pain and/or discomfort. This may be felt in the sexual organs themselves, during or outside of sex. This pain may be related to sexual trauma or abuse, some other condition, or seemingly without cause. Or you may experience general aches and pain in the body, not related to sex. Sexual healing may help with all of these.
As a practical matter, women who experience physical pain during intercourse may simply suffer from vaginal dryness. Besides use of lubricants to relieve the condition (either natural saliva or store-bought products), sacred sexercise increases the natural lubrication of the yoni. Sexercise is highly recommended if you suffer from this condition; see Lesson 4 to learn.
For other pain, sexual healing can help because of the increased level of endorphins - natural pain-killers - released by the body during sexual activity. Endorphins are opiate-like compounds that act on the same bodily receptors as pharmaceutical opiates (pain-killers). In fact, the word 'endorphin', derives from the terms endogenous (meaning 'internal') and morphine. Endorphins are, literally, your body's own pain-killers.
Sexual healing uses your body's own internal pharmacy to heal you.
Physical pain may be a general experience or come up only in the context of sex. (Physical pain felt mainly during sex, aside from that due to specific conditions like vaginal dryness or fibroid cysts, is often related to past trauma or abuse. Outside sex, the body buries or masks the pain so that it is not felt. Sex however, brings the memory of past sexual trauma to the surface, where we may experience it as physical pain.) In any case, sexual healing can help.
Begin with sexual activity to stimulate your body's natural pharmacy. Choose any appropriate sexual activity in this lesson (such as sacred sexercise or Sacred Spot healing massage) to activate your pain-killing healers. (If your pain comes up during general sex, you can - with a supportive partner - transition to sexual healing. In that case, your pharmacy is already active, and you can begin from here.)
Once activated, your biochemicals must find the healing site. This is the easy part. Your mind automatically directs your body when you experience pain. Simple awareness of pain anywhere in your body sends healing biochemicals to the site. There is nothing else you need do.
For general or minor pain, simple attention may give significant relief. (It may take several sessions; results build over time.) For deeper or chronic pain, the practice aids and should be used with standard medical treatment. Giving attention to painful areas in your body increases blood-flow to those areas and sends more endorphins to the site. This promotes healing.
Pain results from unnatural stress put on the body. Something blocks the body from being in its natural pain-free state. Pain indicates an imposed condition on the body. When giving attention to pain, don't further impose your will on it, even if well-intentioned. Don't try to send love, healing energy, positive thoughts, or anything else toward the pain. All this simply adds more effort - strain - to the pain. Attention itself is healing. Attention sends all the loving, healing energy required to the site without any intention at all. Attention equals healing.
In connection with this there is a meditation technique taught in an ancient sacred sex text. The Vigyan Bhairav Tantra (from the Tantra tradition of India) teaches meditation practices based on sacred sex principles. These are designed to awaken you to an enlightened state. The text gives over 100 methods, one of which relies on the simple power of attention itself. The scripture states:
| Quote: |
Wherever your mind is wandering,
Internally or externally,
At this very place, this. |
Put simply, it means that wherever your attention goes, the peace you seek is there. Let your attention be there. When there is pain in your body, your mind - your conscious attention - naturally wanders to that place in your body. Let it be there and find peace.
Another meditation shows the neutrality of this attention. You needn't even make effort to 'feel' the pain:
| Quote: |
Put attention neither on pleasure nor on pain,
But between these. |
This is reminiscent of Buddha's 'middle way', between the extremes and dualities of life. (You can read the Vigyan Bhairav Tantra in our Sacred Sex Text Archive. The meditations above are nos. 62 & 59.)
The healing power of attention does not preclude intentional healing that you may wish to try. It simply makes it easier! Intentional healing often makes use of visualization, breath, or other bodily processes to 'direct' healing energy to specific parts of the body. These are fine, and mainly work by sending endorphins and other healing biochemicals to the site. Sexual healing amplifies this effect because it creates more endorphins to direct.
But sexual healing also increases the power of these by cutting out the effort wasted in using them. Intentional healing typically calls for you to send, through conscious intent, healing energy to the body, using a vehicle like breath or visualization. The premise here sounds good, but the conscious intent is both unnecessary and counterproductive.
It is counterproductive for several reasons. First, your intention, no matter how well-intentioned cannot know exactly what your body needs to heal. What you send and how may or may not be best. Second, your body's natural state is pain-free; pain is imposed on it. Conscious intention merely imposes something new on it, continuing to block it from returning to its natural state. Third, your body heals best when at rest. Least effort allows your body to use all its energy for healing. Conscious intent involves effort, which saps healing energy from the body.
Conscious intent is unneeded because your body knows how to heal itself. No one 'invented' endorphins -- your body produces them naturally. No intentional healer ever called them into existence. They're already there, ready to flow wherever your attention goes.
So how to use breath and visualization, etc. for sexual healing? Simply add them to your practice and feel - don't direct - the energy going to the pain in your body. For breath healing (sometimes called 'pranic healing'), close your eyes and breath in deep, then as you exhale, let your attention go to the pain, and with it your healing energy. Don't try to send healing energy with your breath. Even more effective is not to breathe intentionally at all. Simply let your attention be with your natural breathing and follow it to the pain site on the exhale. As your attention gets more and more absorbed in the healing process, your breathing will change, and may even suspend briefly as your body goes into a type of deep-healing suspended animation.
For visualization (which should only be practiced if it comes easy & natural to you), simply visualize the painful part of your body or the healing energy or endorphins that are naturally there. Don't try to send more there. Like breathing, your visualization may change - growing rich and clear - as your quiet attention gets absorbed. If thoughts or mental wandering come up during healing to 'distract' the attention, don't mind them (and don't fight them) -- simply return attention to the healing site when you become aware you've been distracted.
Sexual healing can use other vehicles to send healing energy as well. Still though, the best method is simple 'attentional' healing. Your body knows best how to heal itself. Let it direct the healing. You simply give attention to what and where your calls. When your total healing energy flows via attention (not wasted on intention), its healing power grows as it gets absorbed in the healing. You may experience a deep, quiet, yet fully alert attention to the healing site. You will feel 100% focused and 'locked-in'. During this experience, you may even hear a healing 'roar' in your head, like the sound of the ocean in a conch shell. This is the healing power of attention.
One vehicle that is especially helpful is known as 'laying on of hands'. Resting your hands on the pained area of your body helps draw and hold your attention there. Plus, the warmth of your hands aids healing. You may - if you see yourself as a 'healer' type - let your attention go to your hands themselves, rather than the pained area they rest on. This draws the healing energy (body's endorphins, etc.) to the area through the hands. During this process, you typically lose awareness of the physical boundary between hands and body. Instead your attention expands to encompass the whole area. That is what draws your body's pharmaceuticals to the region.
Use the same method of letting your attention naturally be with your hands; don't try to direct healing energy through the hands. Your hands and the pained area may tingle and pulse with energy. They may also feel or actually get very warm. This is due to increased blood flow to the area, carrying your body's pharmacy to the site. This is normal and aids healing.
Here, we'll add one note about a popular type of intentional healing -- sending positive thoughts (or prayer) to the area of pain. While well-intentioned like other methods (often even religiously prescribed), this is a less effective healing method. Sending positive thoughts takes mental energy by nature. This expended energy takes away from healing and prevents the body from being in a completely restful state ideal for healing. Regarding prayer, religious people will argue that God's healing power trumps all, and while that is true, prayer does little to impact that, and often gets in the way.
The truth about intentional prayer is this: God has a Will of His own, apart from any desire or intention that we may pray for. If our prayer goes against God's Will, it won't be answered anyway, and shows our disunion with God. If our prayer is in harmony with God's Will, it will be carried out whether we pray for it or not, because it is God's Will. Therefore, prayer has no affect at best, and is counterproductive at worst.
Real prayer is living life in harmony with God's Will. Then you are an instrument of that Will on earth. Then, your every thought and action is prayer, without any conscious intent. The best way to become an instrument of God's Will is first to BE. There is a saying, "Be still and know that you are God." Be innocent and still - without intention - and let God work His Will through you. That is how to see and learn what God's Will is. How can you 'hear' God's Will if you first don't be quiet and listen? It is just egoistic pride that assumes we know God's Will, or believes, "God will listen to my prayers."
Note that these comments on prayer refer only to intentional prayer - done to achieve a result or gain favor, whether for self or others - as opposed to prayers of gratitude and/or surrender. This latter type is good and beneficial, for exactly the reasons taught here. It promotes acceptance of and harmony with God's Will, not manipulation of it. This is a passive - i.e. most restful - alertness to God. Ironically, this form of prayer is more powerful for healing than intentional prayer, which asks for healing. To do this type of prayer, simply let your attention go to the afflicted area (or to whatever condition in need of healing, whether in you or others or the world as a whole), inwardly accept 'Thy Will be done', and let your innocent attention remain there, knowing that what you feel is the Presence of God in that area. When you are done, you will feel a deep, healing peace.
Just paying simple attention - without intention - opens your awareness to the natural order and wonder of things -- God's Will.
Sexual healing, when done right, can help relieve physical pain in the body. When done in perfect innocence, it leads to a state of harmony with Divine Will, which heals all pain and suffering.
[Note: if your physical pain is significant and/or chronic, you should see a medical doctor, as it may be a sign of underlying illness. Pain or tenderness in the breasts may indicate cancer. Burning and similar sensations in the genitals may indicate an STD.]
Healing sexual repression - negative personal, social, cultural, and/or religious attitudes toward sex - requires special attention. Sexual repression begins with unnatural and false beliefs about sexual morality, and morality in general. These misconceptions abide in the intellect and must be rooted out there.
Sexual repression may show itself in emotions and attitudes like guilt, shame, embarrassment, avoidance, judgmentalism, and denial toward sex. It also may (or may not) lead to sexual dysfunction like impotence and erectile dysfunction for men, premature ejaculation, inability to orgasm for women, vaginal dryness (inability to lubricate) and/or pain during sex, and others.
Sexually repressed people typically try to control the sex lives of others (their children, fellow citizens, religious followers, etc.), as a projection of their forced self-control. Sadly, this serves to perpetuate - and in cases like religion, institutionalize - repression.
The Society for Sacred Sexuality is firmly committed to dispelling myths about sex and moral issues relating to it. If you have sexual issues stemming from sex-negative attitudes, beliefs, or upbringing (or even if you don't), we highly recommend that you read the following lessons:If you have reservations about a practice that affirms the existence and role of a Goddess, read the following to see Her place in patriarchal religion:Healing sexual repression requires a two-pronged approach. Aside from correcting misconceptions of sex, people suffering from sexual repression must experience that sex is sacred. This alone truly roots out mistaken notions of the intellect. For that, general sacred sex practice is needed, but also, sexual healing practices like Sacred Spot massage are very helpful. Sexual healing re-introduces sex to you in a way that is not solely for pleasure (often the focus of moral conflict), but rather for the deeper purpose of regaining psycho-physical-spiritual wholeness. Sexual healing lets you experience for yourself that sex can bring you closer to the morally whole person you wish to be, rather than lead you astray from it.
One final healing method, for those who wish to try it, is known as 'ritual healing'. Ritual healing can be very powerful because it adds the value of symbolic imagery to the healing process. Like the phoenix rising imagery, ritual can help focus your mind and energy on the healing process, making it more powerful. Because rituals resonate deeply with the person being healed, they have power to bring about transformative healing. Also, in cases of rituals that invoke traditional, ancient imagery, the collective mind of society supports the healing as well.
In general, ritual is a formal practice using mental and sensory imagery to aid in manifesting a certain intent. In the context of healing, that imagery evokes a sense of health and well-being.
Ritual healing, though often a planned practice, is not rigid. Rather, you follow basic steps to elicit a healing response, then follow the healing process wherever it takes you. Ritual healing can even be completely spontaneous, beginning simply with a healing intent, and following it wherever it leads.
There are no strict rules on how to perform a healing ritual. Indeed, the entire value of ritual healing is its effect on you; therefore, the best healing ritual is that which resonates most deeply with you. It evokes the symbolic imagery that gives you a sense of health and wholeness. You can adapt generic rituals to suit your desire or create an entirely new healing ritual of your own.
Rituals typically center on a theme or intent, evoked by the various symbols and imagery used. For ritual healing of course, the main theme is healing, but yours can be more specific than that. Certain imagery may resonate strongly with you; for example, you may wish to perform a 'phoenix rising' or 'goddess rising' ritual. Or you may choose some other ritual that directly relates to the type of healing you seek - physical, emotional, relationship, abuse, self-esteem, etc. - or the pained area of your body.
To plan your ritual, choose a space that is conducive to healing. A quiet, nurturing space - whether your bedroom, meditation room, outdoors in nature, etc. - prepares you for healing. You might also choose a place that has special meaning for you. Or you can decorate your ritual space in a way that evokes your theme. You might also dress according to your theme, or in a way that represents your healed state.
Next, add imagery to further evoke your healing theme. One of the most common is to include objects that represent that theme for you. It matters little what these objects are; what matters most is what they mean to you. A meaningless token may signify love for you because a dear friend gave it to you in that spirit. You might use this in a ritual to heal your broken heart.
Many people also use visual imagery. You might include a picture that is healing for you, or even better, draw one yourself. Words have similar effect. Use some healing verse, poem, or scripture, or write something yourself. You might include healing music in your ritual. Candles also evoke new beginnings, health, and life.
You typically also include ritual acts -- set performances that represent the manifestation of your healing intent. You 'act out' your healing. Or, your ritual act may be one of the sexual healing practices taught in this lesson -- sacred sexercise, Sacred Spot healing massage, or healing sacred sex.
You might also light candles for new health and life. Or you might perform a sacred sex communion rite to heal a broken heart.
Two types of ritual healing, used for putting illness or past events behind you are cleansing and closure rituals. Cleansing rituals, by which you clear your heart, mind, and spirit of patterns that create ill-health, often involve the act of ritual bathing. This can be performed in your tub, in the ocean, or under a waterfall, etc. Ritual baths are also used to clear out physical illness itself. (Remember, these are acts to stimulate your body's pharmaceutical power to action as an aid to healing; they are no substitute for professional medical attention in case of serious illness.)
Closure rituals, used to put a negative past behind you - bad break-ups, addictions, abuses, etc. - typically involve imagery that reminds you of the past, which you burn or in some other way destroy or overcome to bring closure to it. This helps put the episode behind you so that you can move ahead in your life. It has a cleansing effect on your spirit, and helps end thought patterns that create ill-health in your body.
Ritual is helpful for healing, but not required, and is not for everyone. Use it if it appeals to you. You may want to try ritual healing to see how it feels and works. For more and general information on sacred sex rituals, see Lesson 16.
As mentioned, a simple and straightforward healing ritual might be to perform one of the sexual healing practices in this lesson, with added conscious intent and symbolic imagery that is personal for you. If you want to try something a little more exotic and creative, try the ones below. Details are purposefully left open so you can adapt them to suit your desire. Create your own healing ritual.
 Yoni-to-Lingam & Lingam-to-Yoni Rituals - These are simple and basic rituals that make use of the general healing powers of sex and sacred sex. In these rituals, man and woman sit or lie together in union with little or no movement, as a nurturing sexual healing. This type of ritual is especially good for healing emotional, relationship, and esteem type issues. It opens the heart, strengthens bonding, and builds self-worth.
Note that physically, Yoni-to-Lingam and Lingam-to-Yoni Rituals are much the same. They might appear identical to an outside observer. The main difference is in the minds of the two people involved. For each, one partner is the healer and the other receives healing. Thus, while your bodies are joined in the same way, one partner will be comforting and nurturing the other.
[It doesn't matter, but the name of the ritual depends on which partner gives healing and which receives. If he heals her, it is a Lingam-to-Yoni Ritual -- his lingam gives healing to her yoni. If she heals him, it is a Yoni-to-Lingam Ritual.]
Not much is needed for this ritual. It is very informal and you can perform it spontaneously as the desire and opportunity arises. The only thing you typically add is conscious intent, but even this need not be some formal statement. Rather, the healer consciously offers comfort and solace to the receiving partner. You can do this through simple kisses and repeated 'I love you', or you can speak directly to the issue being healed. Or you may heal your partner by listening -- allowing her or him to express feelings and be heard.
You may want to add some formality to your healing intent. The healing partner might begin the ritual by saying something like, "With my sacred [Yoni/Lingam], I heal you [or your specific issue]. Even with formal intent though, it's best to follow it with nurturing comfort throughout the ritual.
Yoni-to-Lingam and Lingam-to-Yoni Rituals can last as long as you wish, but you should set aside at least 10 minutes or so to get some effect.
For added effect, try Yoni-to-Lingam Resuscitation & Lingam-to-Yoni Resuscitation Rituals. These are essentially the same, except that in your minds, you join in sacred union as though one partner is restoring the other to life. Just as you would give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to someone physically in need, give genital-to-genital resuscitation to one spiritually, emotionally, or sexually in need. That is what sex really is: awakening dormant life energy. Enter sacred union with that in mind.
You may have heard that the French sometimes call orgasm the 'little death', because you as if die to this life while in orgasmic ecstasy. After the ritual, you are re-born, free of your earlier life, like phoenix rising.
There are other alternatives too. For some situations, such as healing sexual trauma or abuse, you may want to merely sit or lie together with genitals touching, without penetration. This conveys to the partner being healed that the session is about nurturing them, not 'getting some'. Use this method if the partner being healed wishes.
(Note: Same-sex couples can do Lingam-to-Lingam and Yoni-to-Yoni Rituals in a similar way.)
Yoni-to-Lingam and Lingam-to-Yoni Rituals are simple and beautiful ways to use your natural sexual healing powers.
Amrita/Shukra Ritual - Amrita is a Sanskrit word meaning nectar or elixir of immortality. It is the infinite healing power of nature. In human life, amrita refers to the cascade of healing pharmaceuticals your body produces in the experience of spiritual awakening. On a more common level, it refers to any physical healing effect brought about by healthy emotions and thought patterns.
Amrita - natural healing power - is carried through your system by various bodily fluids. Your blood is a primary transporter is healing biochemicals. However, there are special fluids in which the healing chemistry of your body - trace minerals, hormones, enzymes - builds up and concentrates. They are your sexual fluids -- your 'love juices', if you will. These fluids hold special healing powers.
Your healing chemistry concentrates in your love juices because your sexuality - your basic biology - contains all that you are. Your sexual fluids contain all the building blocks of your body. They are there not only as the seed of who you are, but also to enable you to create new life from them. They are the seed of your offspring, and must therefore contain all that is needed to create and sustain life.
The ancients recognized the concentrated healing power of your sexual fluids. One special fluid - female ejaculate - was called 'amrita' for this reason, by followers of Tantra, the sacred sex tradition of India. Other traditions had their own names for it. Regardless of name, the early people of many cultures celebrated its healing power.
The ancients also recognized and honored the male fluid - semen - called shukra in Sanskrit, meaning clear or pure. Shukra not only has similar healing properties to female ejaculate, but also has the specific life-giving power of sperm. Unlike its female counterpart, which does not carry her ovum (egg), male ejaculate carries his seed. That seed is pure concentrated life energy.
Earlier we discussed the biochemistry of male and female ejaculate, and their commonality. The reality of their healing powers and the tradition behind them throughout the ages are the basis for Amrita and Shukra sexual healing rituals. Their full healing power comes from a combination of actual biochemicals in the bodily fluids and those released internally through spiritual awakenings had in the ritual. Added to that is the psychological weight of untold numbers of people over the millennia who have sought and gained healing by this means. That adds to the experience of awakening, which in turn stimulates your internal healing pharmacy. Together, all these make for power medicine.
Which ritual you perform also depends on your desire, sexual orientation, and circumstance. Heterosexual couples typically bathe themselves (literally or figuratively) in their partner's love juices. Same-sex partners still heal themselves with their partner's juices, but they will be of their own gender. Single individuals and those in relationship who wish to heal self esteem and acceptance issues - especially relating to sexuality - or similar personal issues, may ritually heal themselves with their own love juices.
Also, the ritual healing method is open to choice. Couples typically join in sexual union in their accustomed way, or you can make your ritual special by partaking of your lover's juices in ways you don't usually do orally, facially, or full-body bath. Use it as foot massage cream to soothe your soul...and your soles. 'Wear' your lover all day as shampoo or body wash to heal commitment or abandonment issues. Rub your lover's juices, or your own, over the hurting area to heal physical pain. Pick some method that relates to whatever you want to heal. That conscious choice is what creates a ritual.
Whichever you choose, leave the healing juices in or on your body for maximum physical and psychological absorption. Don't bathe yourself in ritual juices, then wash them off after, thinking 'that's gross!' It ruins the whole effect. Your mind is powerful and produces biochemistry to match.
Amrita and Shukra Rituals can be as formal or informal as you wish. Either way, start with some kind of conscious intent, whether stated or unstated. A simple, "With these sacred love juices, I heal [whatever ails]," is fine.
If you are healing something other than basic physical pain, it may be helpful to add ritual objects as described above. If appropriate, choose something that represents either the problem or solution, and bathe it in love juices. Your 'intention' will be different depending on which you do. For a problem object, you might use, "With these sacred love juices I wash away this problem." For a solution object, use, "With these sacred juices I empower [name the solution] to heal [name the problem].
Amrita and Shukra Rituals can be very powerful and sensual ways to heal.
Isis Ritual - This is a more exotic version of the earlier Yoni-to-Lingam and Lingam-to-Yoni Resuscitation Rituals. You might call it a type of 'rebirthing ritual'.
The ritual is named after Isis to recall the Egyptian legend in which she brings her husband Osiris back to life after he is killed and dismembered by Set. Isis finds all the dismembered parts of Osiris, save one -- his sexual member. So she fashions a golden phallus in its stead and breathes life back into him.
This ritual is best suited for healing men - especially conditions like erectile dysfunction and impotence - with her playing the role of Isis. The ritual can be performed orally, in which Isis 'literally' breathes life into him. Note that her intent here is not to induce ejaculation -- that takes away his life energy. Rather, it is to arouse and stimulate him, and restore his sexual vigour. See Sacred Sex Lesson 9 for teachings on how to massage - orally or manually - his lingam. To aid his own healing, the man should do sacred sexercise while his partner heals him.
The Isis Ritual can be used to heal women too, either by her partner or herself. In either case, and regardless of what sexual activity you use, begin by stating something like, "I invoke the power of Isis to heal [name the issue] and to restore [name the corresponding healthy condition]."
You may want to add Egyptian themed ritual objects or photos, such as one of Isis or an ankh, which represents life.
For more background and insight into the Isis Ritual, see the Egyptian Sacred Sex Forum.
Earth Opening Ritual for women - This is named after Taoist view of woman as Earth, and is designed to open her up spiritually, emotionally, and/or sexually. It is especially good for shut-down due to trauma/abuse, heartbreak, repressive upbringing, work-related stress, or any condition in which she feels blocked or in a rut.
Sexual healing in general frees up your life energy, so you can use virtually any method taught in this lesson. One of the best is 'Open Heart Massage', mentioned above and taught in Lesson 5. Anything with sacred sexercise also works well.
Here is one special practice she can do with a male partner: She lies on her back with him kneeling between her legs. (Or she can dangle her legs over the edge of the bed with him standing between.) He enters her and reaches behind the small of her back with both hands, lifting her up and opening/expanding her chest. She stretches her arms out to the sides or up over her head. If he's able, he can massage out from her spine, working his way up her back. If desired or needed, use a pillow under the small of her back.
For Earth Opening Rituals, you might want to add a Yin-Yang symbol for Taoist imagery. (Or you can go with a simple naturist theme and choose 'Gaia' - Greek for Mother Earth - as your healing inspiration.) It can also be done as a plain sexual healing practice, without making a ritual of it.
Heaven Descending Ritual for men - This also has a Taoist theme, named after its view of man as Heaven. The ritual is designed to rejuvenate his sexual energy.
For this ritual he lies atop his partner (in her role as earth) in sexual union. Both remain mostly still, but enough to stay hard and aroused. Rather than working to stimulate his sexual energy, he simply 'lets it descend' -- lets the natural arousal of the situation stimulate his sexual energy. Too often we think we can only enjoy sexual pleasure by frantic thrusting. This ritual reminds us sex in and of itself, without much doing on our part, is pleasureful. For more insight into this, see Lesson 1 - Simple Sacred Sex. Rather than thrusting, both partners sexercise during the ritual.
These Taoist rituals heal and balance yin & yang -- female & male essence.
Moon Ritual for women - This is a special ritual meant to heal issues relating to fertility and the female cycle. These range from simple PMS, irregularity, pain & cramping, excessive bleeding, to negative attitudes toward your period. In cases where infertility is wholly or partly psychosomatic, and perhaps in some pure physical conditions, Moon Rituals may help as well.
The Moon Ritual is largely symbolic, but how you view your period can have a great impact on your experience of it. It is one of the most intimate aspects of your life, and most women have strong views about it one way or another. If you 'hate' your period, you're a candidate for menstrual problems and also healing.
(Menstrual and fertility issues should also be addressed by a trained herbalist and/or western physician. It is best to approach any health issue both physically and at its root cause.)
The Moon Ritual consists simply of taking a drop or two of your blood and dotting your forehead with it, just above and between your eyes. This is a way of showing yourself and the world that you welcome and honor your period -- you 'wear it with pride'. As you 'anoint' yourself, think or state aloud something along these lines: "I welcome my moon cycle into my life and cherish it as a sign of fertility."
You can do the Moon Ritual every day of your period, or just the first day. If public etiquette requires discreteness, anoint yourself over your heart, where it will be concealed by clothes. Don't wash the blood off -- let your body absorb it, at least for a few days.
You can perform Moon Rituals yourself, but they gain power if done with other women. Share this with your friends and ask if they'd like to participate. Some traditional cultures had 'moon lodges' where women would go during their monthly period to honor their bodily cycle together. If you wish with a supportive partner, you may choose to have him dip his fingers in your sacred chamber and anoint you.
You can also add more to your Moon Ritual by tying into the moon itself. Go outside on the night of your ritual, under the moon. With sacred and healing menstrual blood on your fingers, face the moon and raise up your arms, palms up, fingers spread, forming a 'Y' with your body, framing the moon. Call out or recite to yourself, "Glory to the Universal Mother, Radiant as the Moon, who blesses me with fertility. I welcome and honor Thee in my life." Then anoint yourself.
For more insight into Moon Rituals, see the Female Fertility Forum. The forum includes practical advice that supports this ritual. Use practices taught there in your ritual for stronger healing effect.
Sexual healing is a profound way to honor, celebrate, enjoy, and put to practical use the power of sacred sex.
Copyright 2009, Society for Sacred Sexuality - all rights reserved.
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Sexual union is a mirror of Spiritual Union, and a gateway to direct experience of it. |
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russ
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| Re: sexual healing Posted: April 3, 2005 |
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For a very easy to understand explanation of the anatomy of sacred sex and it's PRACTICAL RAMIFICATIONS read "Sexual Reflexology" by Mantak Chia author of "The Multiorgasmic Man". Taoist spirituality/ sexuality is a rich source of simple{although very demanding for men as Taoist "healing love" requires extreme awareness, sensitivity, stamina and PRESENCE on the part of the "penetrator"} techniques for easy to acquire practical experience in sexual self and partner healing.
My personal experience of engaging in healing sex, as articulated by Mr. Chia ,with my wife is that because of the extremely "mechanical " and "technical /clinical" nature of this type of sexual healing it is a lot of work and can very easily sap what little fun and spontenaity{SIC} already overworked and stretched adults ARE experiencing in their hurried and harried sex lives right into the toilet in a NEW YORK MINUTE.
By all means read the book as it will afford you, at a minimum, a different insight into male/female relationships and perhaps improve your understanding of the energy dynamics of these relationships. I honestly believe that most men and women would benefit far more from receiving sexual healing from a trained facilitator aka Daka /Dakini in tantric circles
than from attemtping this on your own. Sexual healing is life altering and can be explosive at times as deep emotional blocks, unreleased trauma from a broken heart , rape or incest and the hurts of living in an unenlightened state of being are brought to light for release. A lover may be too close and lack the" intimate affectionate detachment/objectivity" required for universal love to do it's work so that deeply personal love can be received and embraced facilitating the completing of the healing process initiated by an undeniable experience of universal unconditional love.
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To be loved deeply by someone gives you strength, to love someone deeply gives you courage. Lao Tzu |
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| Re: sexual healing Posted: April 7, 2005 |
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| russ said: |
| For a very easy to understand explanation of the anatomy of sacred sex and it's PRACTICAL RAMIFICATIONS read "Sexual Reflexology" by Mantak Chia.... |
I'm familiar with Mantak Chia, but not that book. Yes, Taoist sex has a lot of healing practices, but I agree with what you say about it:
| russ said: |
| My personal experience of engaging in healing sex, as articulated by Mr. Chia ,with my wife is that because of the extremely "mechanical " and "technical /clinical" nature of this type of sexual healing it is a lot of work and can very easily sap what little fun and spontenaity{SIC} already overworked and stretched adults ARE experiencing.... |
Sacred sex in general, plus the simple practices presented in this Forum, go a long way toward healing the mind, body, and soul. Those who are inclined and have a need can explore the Taoist teachings on their own. Or perhaps better yet, as Russ suggests, seek out a trained healer to work with you.
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Sexual union is a mirror of Spiritual Union, and a gateway to direct experience of it. |
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russ
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| healing fun Posted: April 28, 2005 |
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There is such a strong "work ethic" deeply ingrained in us as Americans that Sacred Sex is such a refreshing opportinity to make progress by having fun and playing rather than "working" .
I would rather play than work how about you ? "Working" on one's relationship and all of it's components is a pain in the north end of a south bound train as far as I am concerned. I'd rather relax and play in love and energy transference with my wife/lover/soul mate/ sex goddess than "get serious" . Real connection and communication make playing possible.
The "homeplay" exercises set the tone for "playful exploration and discovery" of your body and it's capacity for pleasure, ecstasy and BLISS.
Pleasure, ecstasy and bliss are ESSENTIAL for health and well being. They are no less and, in the long run even more, important than sleep , rest and food for {w}holiness and peace of being in a body.
Is sex play a necessity ? ABSOLUTELY
Remember what Christ Jesus, Lord Krishna, and all true Teachers have taught: "you must become as a liittle child to enter the kingdom of heaven" Deeply connected , body sighing, orgasmic wave riding sex play is a truly heavenly experience AVAILABLE TO ANY and ALL who learn to "simply go with the flow of life and love": surrender /let go and let god.
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To be loved deeply by someone gives you strength, to love someone deeply gives you courage. Lao Tzu |
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| Re: healing fun Posted: April 28, 2005 |
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| russ said: |
| There is such a strong "work ethic" deeply ingrained in us as Americans that Sacred Sex is such a refreshing opportinity to make progress by having fun and playing rather than "working" . |
Yes, yes, yes....and it's especially valuable in an area that is all too often painful -- healing.
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Sexual union is a mirror of Spiritual Union, and a gateway to direct experience of it. |
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russ
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| Dancing naked in the sun and laughing by moonlight Posted: April 28, 2005 |
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Healing, making whole, implies a return to a pre-existing condition of wholeness/ unity from a place of fragmentation / disconnection.
Laughter is the ultimate healer especially full body belly laughter. Laughter shakes out the cobbwebs and sweeps deep into the corners sucking up fear, shame and guilt and burning it to ashes.
The ability to let go and just relax into the moment requires a definite innocence and vulnerability . This can be threatening but interestingly when you admit { let in /acknowledge} the threat you begin to defuse it rather than "holding it at bay " which only strengthens it. This is the 'Non resistance" attitude of using your opponents energy to defeat him/her so much emphasized in martial arts training. The same attitude of 'using opposition's strengtrh and power to YOUR advatage" applies in overcoming inner resistance to the changes engendered by the subtler energies accessed in Sacred Sex Play. The more powerful the resistance, the further you can be carried BEYOND IT when you harness this energy rather than fight it.
The ability to laugh at oneself, just honestly laugh without bitterness or recrimination , just seeing the humor of the situation you are in with each other can be a big relief and burden dropper in terms of maintaining appearances and pretensions which inhibit and limit our expression and experience of pleasure and deep satisfaction in our body/mind /soul. The "lightening of the emotional load" allows you to "rise up and into" the new space which opens before you in Sacred Sex Play ,with yourself first ,and THEN with a partner.
Who is there to impress anyway? Try just exploring consciously ,rather than ham handedly, and see what comes up/opens up for and with/in each other! "
We may not know what we're doing or where we're going but DAMN we're having fun with each other AND THAT'S JUST PEACHY KEEN ! " is a VERY healthy foundation to build upon.
You may be very surprised at your dedication with this approach and of course : yep guys and gals you know what's coming !!!! :::: practice/doing is the key to understanding and realization.
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To be loved deeply by someone gives you strength, to love someone deeply gives you courage. Lao Tzu |
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sita
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| Sex Keeps You Healthy Posted: September 11, 2005 |
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Here are some health benefits that I came across.
1. Sex is a beauty treatment. You can tell from the skin whether a person is sexually active or not... Scientific tests find that when women make love, they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth. 
2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow. 
3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner. 
4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers! 
5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being. 
6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones.... These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy! 
7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM. 
8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up. 
9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain. 
10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever. 
If ordinary sex does all these things, just imagine what sacred sex can do for us 
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russ
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| Sex is good for you! Posted: September 12, 2005 |
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I came across this quote from Mae West " an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away"
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To be loved deeply by someone gives you strength, to love someone deeply gives you courage. Lao Tzu |
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| Re: Sex Keeps You Healthy Posted: September 12, 2005 |
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I think these are great points.
| sita said: |
| If ordinary sex does all these things, just imagine what sacred sex can do for us |
Yes -- one of the ways sacred sex heals is simply by prolonging sex. All the points you mentioned are gathered from studies & observations made about the effects of common sex, which typically lasts 5-15 minutes. Most of these effects result from the release of chemicals in the body such as endorphins and health-inducing neuropeptides.
Sacred sex typically lasts 30-60 minutes or more. This allows your body to bathe in that positive biochemistry for much longer, and even habituate to living in that environment. You carry your biochemistry with you after sex as a health promoting afterglow.
Not a bad way to stay fit. 
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Sexual union is a mirror of Spiritual Union, and a gateway to direct experience of it. |
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| Posted: January 11, 2010 |
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CNN ran an article at the beginning of 2010 citing various health benefits of sex. Below are excerpts:
New Year's resolution: Have more sex
By Elizabeth Cohen, CNN Senior Medical Correspondent
Jan. 7, 2010
STORY HIGHLIGHTS
Researchers have long known that people who have frequent sex are generally healthier
Most health benefits seem to be linked to penile-vaginal intercourse
Frequent sex may also bring longer life, fewer coronary events, lower blood pressure
[the article links 10 health benefits to sex, citing the following studies]:
1. A longer life
In a British study, men who had intercourse at least twice a week lived longer than men who had sex less than once a month. A U.S. study had similar findings, and a Swedish study examining the sex lives of 70-year-olds found that men who died before their 75th birthday had ceased having sexual intercourse at earlier ages.
The Swedish study didn't find that women lived longer if they had sex more frequently, and neither did a study in North Carolina. However, in the North Carolina study, women who reported enjoying sex more lived longer than those who didn't report enjoyment.
2. A healthier heart
In a British study, people who had intercourse twice a week or more were less likely to have heart attacks and other fatal coronary events. Those who had sex less than once a month had twice the rates of fatal coronary events, compared with those with the highest frequency of intercourse.
3. Lower blood pressure
In a study published in the journalBiological Psychology, people who had sex more often tended to have lower diastolic blood pressure, or the bottom number in a blood pressure reading. Brody's experiment, in which more sexually active study subjects had markedly less dramatic blood pressure spikes when they were put under stress, also supports the benefit.
4. Lower risk of breast cancer
A French study found that women who have vaginal intercourse not at all or infrequently had three times the risk of breast cancer, compared with women who had intercourse more often.
5. Lower risk of prostate cancer
A Minnesota study found that men who'd had intercourse more than 3,000 times in their lives had half the prostate cancer risk of those who had not. While it's not clear why this would be true, studies have found that men who had more intercourse tended to have better prostate function and eliminated more waste products in their semen. "These differences could conceivably impact prostate cancer risk," Brody writes in his article.
6. Pain relief
Whipple and others have conducted studies suggesting that more sexual activity helps relieve lower back pain and migraines.
7. A slimmer physique
A study of healthy German adults revealed that men and women who had sex more frequently tended to be slimmer than folks who didn't have as much sex. Sex burns 50 to 60 calories per encounter, Whipple says, so sex three times a week for a month would burn about 700 calories -- or the equivalent of jogging about seven miles.
8. Better testosterone levels
A group of men being treated for erectile problems saw greater increases in testosterone when, along with the treatments, they had frequent sex. Specifically, men who had sex at least eight times per month had greater increases than those who had sex less than eight times per month.
9. Fewer menopause symptoms
Menopausal women in Nigeria experienced fewer hot flashes when they had sex more frequently. Brody says this may be because sexual activity helps regulate hormonal levels, which in turn affect the symptoms of menopause.
10. Healthier semen
In three studies, men who had frequent intercourse had a higher volume of semen, a higher sperm count and a higher percentage of healthier sperm, compared with men who tended to participate in other sexual activities.
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Read the full article at:
http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/01/07/sex.health.benefits/index.html |
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| Posted: May 9, 2011 |
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| Really Nice post on sexual health and its healing. |
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| nice post Posted: November 24, 2016 |
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| I have read this post is really very nice on sexual health |
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