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Gender Roles
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Gary Joseph
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Gender Roles    Posted: November 29, 2004 Reply with quote

Gender roles in the world reflect their counterparts in spirit.

Man and woman are embodiments of the spiritual ideals we call God & Goddess. Even if you are not religious and don't relate to those terms, the male & female essence embodied in them apply.

Every man and woman have within them male & female essence. Everything in creation is comprised of this dual essence. It is our wholeness. It permeates every level of creation, from our creative source down to every last detail of manifest creation. It is the creative principle itself. On a cosmic level, male and female essence - which we call God & Goddess - 'sexually' create the universe and all that is in it.

Creation is not separate from its Creator Couple. Male & female creative essence enters into creation, suffusing it with gender quality. Thus everything in creation is a reflection and expression of gender nature. (For a full explanation of male & female essence, and its presence in you and all creation, see Origin of Sacred Sex & Meet Your Sacred Sex Family.)

Creation, however, is not linear as the above description might suggest. God & Goddess do not simply manifest full-blown into creation in spiritual wholeness for all time. Well, they do...but we as created beings aren't always awake to it. In this sense, creation is not linear. Rather, it is circular.

Creation begins in unmanifest wholeness -- God & Goddess in Eternal Sacred Union, uncreated. By their Union, they manifest into the infinite diversity of creation. The Unmanifest manifests as matter. In this creative act, the unmanifest wholeness is 'lost'. Every aspect of creation assumes a distinct identity. The universe, which is really a collective whole, appears as a collection of parts.

The myriad individual parts then begin on their innate odyssey of evolution, journeying back to wholeness. Matter evolves into life, and lower life forms evolve into higher ones, becoming more conscious as they grow. Man and woman stand atop the evolutionary ladder on earth, able to embrace more of life. We too evolve, expanding our horizons and becoming more whole, until we reawaken to full inner wholeness. When we have brought our male & female essence into Sacred Union, we come full circle back to God & Goddess in our individual lives.

This is the Circle of Life, from spirit to matter and back to spirit, that shapes all natural evolution. Sacred sex completes that circle by restoring you to Sacred Union.

This lesson shows how gender roles support life, and carry us along our evolutionary journey to complete the Circle of Life. To understand this, let's look closer at the nature of life and gender wholeness.

In the act of creation, the equilibrium between the two gender principles shifts, leading to either male or female predominance in creation. We see this not only in the male & female genders of living organisms, but also in the gender qualities we associate with inanimate creation and other phenomena. Everything in creation has predominate male or female traits. Even the traits themselves express gender.

For example, we see beauty as female and strength as male. Change is female, stability is male. Hot and dry are male; cool and wet are female. Likewise, basic elements show gender. Fire and stone are male; earth and water are female. All of nature is the same. Sun is male, moon is female. Mountains are male; valleys are female. The trunk and branches of a tree are male, but the leaves, flowers, and fruits on them are female -- and the seed inside the fruit is again male.

Human creations and ideas are no different. Art is female, science is male. Language and literature are female, math and its formulas are male. The business production of goods & services is male, while their sale and consumption, along with the comfort, leisure, and pleasure they bring, are female.

We can go into whatever level of detail we want. Science is male, but among the sciences, some are female and others male. Biology, ecology, psychology, and sociology are female. Physics, chemistry, and computer science are male.


Oriental Taoism takes this to its true extreme -- it classifies everything in creation as yin or yang: female or male, respectively. The yin-yang symbol shows the innate harmony and balance between them, and the composite wholeness they represent. Male & female essence comprise all creation in a Sacred Union of opposites.

Male and female gender roles on earth express this natural truth. Together, they complement each other in such a way as to create a wholeness that is greater than the sum of the two together. They re-create the unity of life that elevates each gender to spiritual wholeness. Gender roles help complete the Circle of Life.

Gender role is a means to living spiritual life, and also to attain to it.

What gender roles fulfill this lofty aim? Fortunately for us, life comes complete with perfect gender role models. Let's look at the primordial gender roles of God & Goddess as archetypes to live by.

GENDER ARCHETYPES

The roles of the male & female creative principles serve as models for men & women on earth because they act in wholeness. By following these archetypes, we can most easily return to the wholeness from which we were created.

First, it's vital to note that these archetypal roles are not those of some outside 'deity'. While we may use the terms God & Goddess to personify them, they are neither outside nor distinct from us. That creative spark of life - whether we view it in a religious or purely scientific sense - is within all of life at its very core. Reconnecting with that returns us to our source and makes us whole. Archetypal gender roles are our own innate nature.

To demystify the archetypes then, we'll use science rather than religion for understanding. Though science doesn't speak of male & female creative essence, the picture it gives can easily be described that way.

Leading science teaches that creation is born of an unmanifest plane of existence. This pure, silent 'Unified Field' (as physics often calls it), simply IS. It is beyond all space & time, and all the laws of nature that govern and guide life in the universe. Not to deny religion entirely, this is what we call 'God'. It is the eternal support of all existence. It is our male archetype.

Despite its silent existence, this inner male essence - which, as physics affirms, abides in everyone and everything - is teeming with energy. It contains within it all the power needed to spark the 'Big Bang', and sustain life in creation. This infinite creative energy of life is our pure female essence. It is what we call 'Goddess'. She is the very Nature of God -- Infinite Creative Energy is the very nature of the Unified Field. The two cannot be separated; they are in eternal Sacred Union. (Though patriarchal religion doesn't acknowledge Her by name, She is there still, identified as God's Nature or Will.) Regardless of name, that teeming life energy, which also resides in us all, is our female archetype. (For more on the Goddess and Her relation to God, see the Divine Feminine.)

The female life essence is responsible for all the change and diversity in creation, indeed, for the manifest creation itself. Without it, creation would simply BE, eternally unmanifest. Goddess activates God. Or, in terms of contemporary religion, God's Nature creates, while at the same time, He remains the Silent Support.


It's worth mentioning that this exactly matches the view of spiritual India, which has a rich heritage that includes sacred sex. Their gender archetypes are Shiva & Shakti, God and Goddess respectively. In India, Shiva is Pure Silence, and Shakti is Infinite Creative Energy. Moreover, they are commonly depicted as one, indicating their Eternal Union.

In sum then, the male gender archetype is Pure Being, and the female model is Pure Energy. Together, their gender roles carry us around the Circle of Life.

GENDER & THE CIRCLE OF LIFE

Completing the Circle of Life is not about returning to our uncreated, archetypal state. If it were, it could hardly be called evolution. Rather, it is about awakening to our inner creative essence and living it in the physical world. This is fully evolved life. It is what has been known throughout the ages as Enlightenment, God-Realization, Liberation, Religious or Spiritual Awakening, and other similar names.

Life is meant to be lived in wholeness. This means full inner life and full outer life. The gender archetypes within are the inner fullness. They are the creative source of life. They evolve into physical creation, which is the outer fullness. In creation, life evolves. Life then reawakens to inner fullness within the outer fullness. Like this, we evolve to wholeness of life. This is easy to see in terms of gender. It also has great practical relevance to life.

We just described the male archetype as Silent Being, the foundation of all existence. The female archetype is Pure Energy. She is dynamic. Think about this in terms of your life. You lead a dynamic, active life, but is your inner sense of being - inner peace & joy - always what you want? Living the male & female archetypes together brings wholeness to life. You enjoy a dynamic, successful life on a firm foundation. This is the practical value of gender wholeness.

By 'foundation', we mean something more than the common sense. We mean it in the male archetypal sense. Various spiritual traditions describe Silent Being as the experience of Pure Bliss. Sacred sex calls it Ecstasy. Some religions refer to it as Rapture. Whatever its name, it means that a supremely blissful state underlies all your dynamic activity. Sacred sex knows it as the same ecstasy of orgasm, made permanent. It becomes the ever present blissful ground on which you act. Sacred sex calls this Sexual Enlightenment.

Now you see why both male & female essence are needed to make life complete. The male archetype without the female has inner fullness, but is unexpressed. It is like an artist full of creativity, but who doesn't create anything. Likewise, the female archetype without the male has lots of dynamic energy and material progress, but lacks inner joy and fullness -- much like the world we see today.

Male and female gender act together to create this wholeness. They may seem like opposites, but like lovers, they go hand in hand. God & Goddess are not as distinct as you may think. There is more to this creator couple - and ALL contrasting pairs - than meets the eye.

UNITY OF GENDER

It is easy, and our common perception, to see men and women as complete opposites. We use such views to justify all manner of conflict in the so-called 'gender war'. Sacred sex reveals man & woman to be something more -- complementary souls. To know that this is more than just a lofty idea, you must learn the real truth about opposites.

We view opposites through the eye of a dualistic mind, seeing them as distinct entities, entirely unrelated. We treat them like 'apples & oranges', a pair that are not true opposites. Yet we see opposites in that way. Men seem entirely different than women, so we treat the two like apples and oranges. But true opposites are not unrelated. In fact, true opposition requires direct relation.

This relationship goes far beyond what we commonly take to be the connection between men & women. We are more than complementary opposites that are made for each other. The true relation of opposites transcends even this. Opposites are two ends of a single spectrum.

Take the opposites black & white. They are two ends of a single spectrum that includes every conceivable shade of gray. The same applies to hot & cold, wet & dry, big & small, sound & silence, and every so-called opposite pair in creation, including male and female. We are not opposite genders, but rather two ends of one gender spectrum.

Before we elaborate on that, there is one more thing. Polar spectrums do not have wholly distinct values at their ends. Again, it's not apples & oranges, with some kind of blended fruit spectrum between. Rather, each spectrum is of one thing, and one thing only. The apparent duality is this: at one end of the spectrum it's there, and at the other it's not.

Take the light spectrum. If light is there, you have light. If not, you have its opposite, dark. But dark is no thing, it's just the absence of light. Hot and cold mark the temperature spectrum, but heat is the only real value -- either it's there or not. Cold is the absence of heat. Likewise, dryness is the absence of water, and silence is simply no sound. All opposite pairs have the same spectral link. The duality of opposites is an illusion.

(This point is very important; if you're having trouble grasping it, see Myth of Evil for a full explanation. Then read Gender Identity to see how it applies to male and female.)

Male and female genders are not opposite like apples and oranges. This truth shows in our archetypes: female creative energy is one end of a spectrum; at the other is its male 'opposite', silent being, which is just another way to say zero energy. Male and female are at two ends of one gender spectrum.

THE GENDER SPECTRUM IN HUMAN LIFE

Unity of the sexes sounds good in theory, but is there physical evidence to support the gender spectrum? It turns out that there is not just evidence, but essential proof. Support for the gender spectrum lies in our basic biology.

To find the gender spectrum, you need look no further than your genes. wink

Gender Biology

We define the most basic biological difference between men and women by our genetic makeup. Clearly, you say, genetics disproves the idea of a gender spectrum -- men and women are fully distinct. But a look at the obvious shows that it's not so.

Biology calls the female chromosome 'X' and the male one 'Y'. Since we each have two sets of chromosomes, a fully distinct genetic makeup would be 'XX' (female) and 'YY' male. This would produce two different genders with wholly distinct natures. But every high school biology student knows this is not our code. Women are indeed 'XX', but men are 'XY'. X-chromosome is common to both; the only difference between us is 'Y'. Either you have it or you don't -- just like every other pair of 'opposites' in creation, it's based on the absence or presence of a single value.

Genetically, the gender spectrum ranges from 'Y' to no 'Y'.

(If you doubt the truth of Y vs. no-Y, try its alternatives. If X-chromosome makes you female and no X makes you male, then everyone would be female, because we all have the X-chromosome. Likewise, apples vs. oranges logic doesn't work either. If X makes us female and Y makes us male, then all men would be mixed gender since they have both.)

You might think that this is all just a genetic 'coincidence' that has little bearing on the daily reality of gender in the world. For all practical purposes, you say, we are genetically and behaviorally distinct. You might even point out that 'Y' and no 'Y' is hardly a spectrum -- where are all the shades of gray between this black and white?

Looking at gender in the world however, we see shades of gray all around. The gender spectrum shows itself in the vast range of identities and roles expressed in society. Men and women of all types play every conceivable male and female role. Some men play 'traditionally' masculine roles while others fill feminine ones. Women too run the gamut from feminine lives to masculine ones. This is true not only behaviorally, but also sexually.

Why do we see, literally, such a broad spectrum of gender roles in society? Some might suggest that it's a product of our mixed up modern values. Or is there a physical reason -- does biology impel it? We find the answer by looking at the next basic level of biological distinction between male and female: hormones.

As with genetics, your first response might be that male and female are utterly distinct -- men are driven by testosterone, women are led by estrogen. Two distinct hormones for two distinct genders; what can be more 'opposite' than that? But once again, it isn't so.

First, both men & women have both hormones in them (pre-pubescent children and elderly adults even have virtually the same levels as their opposite gender). But this is not even the main point. Most significant is that testosterone alone leads gender development in the womb, where the vast majority of sexual differentiation occurs. Estrogen plays little or no role. As with genetics, gender duality basically boils down to one hormone, testosterone -- either you have it or you don't.

(Even in later life where other hormones stimulate gender anatomy or behavior - for example, estrogen for breast development, or oxytocin for female bonding traits - testosterone is a known inhibitor. In its presence, male traits win out; in its absence, female traits win.

Two extreme cases bear this out: females born with a condition that causes elevated testosterone production fail to develop breasts at puberty; in contrast, males born without working testosterone receptors do develop breasts at puberty. Thus, testosterone's existence, or absence, seems to be the key factor in gender dimorphism.)

Here also is where gender really becomes spectral. Testosterone is not an all-or-nothing hormone. It can be present to any degree between typical male and female levels, leading to any degree of masculinization of the base female gender.

To fully grasp the significance of this, you must first know that physiologically, the genders begin sexually identical in the womb. It is not even that they each start asexually, then develop their respective gender organs. Amazingly, every fetus - male or female - begins with formative reproductive organs for BOTH genders, and exactly identical sex organs. It is only testosterone levels that distinguish development. (For a full explanation of prenatal sex differentiation, see Male/Female Androgyny.

Since both genders begin this way, it must result from the common X-chromosome (or other gene strand common to both genders). We are therefore like every other pair in creation. Our base state contains within it the potential for both ends of the spectrum. It may remain in its base state, or the latent value within it may express itself.

We each begin life with a base female gender and the capacity to develop as male. Either we move to the male end of the spectrum, or we remain female. (In fact, the gradual virilization of a male fetus is best described as moving from the female end of the gender spectrum to the male.) The proof that gender is a spectral range, not just behaviorally but also physically, lies in a documented condition called 'intersex'. Intersex is the term for individuals of either genetic makeup who, due to atypical testosterone levels during prenatal development, have mixed sexual anatomies. (For more on intersex gender, see Gender Identity.)

Biologically then, the gender spectrum is real.

Now that you understand gender as a spectrum, let's specifically look at gender roles. We'll start again with archetypes. You'll see that gender roles & behavior, like anatomy, are spectral.

EVOLUTION OF GENDER

The story of gender role is the story of creation. Gender roles are active. They are how gender behaves. By their native activity, the gender archetypes evolve from their primal state to a new one. Creative essence creates. Pure Silence and Infinite Energy explode - 'Big Bang' fashion - as the universe. This is natural evolution. Thus, archetypal gender roles explain the grand mechanics of evolution. They reveal how God & Goddess become creation and evolve it. Most important, they show the evolution of gender itself.

The Story of Creation

One of the most well-known scientific formulas of our time is E=mc2. With this simple equation, Einstein showed the equivalence of energy and matter. What is less commonly deduced from this formula is that energy and matter coexist throughout creation, in perfect balance. Whatever the level of mass or energy at any point in creation, an equivalent level of the other resides there too. They are, sexually speaking, in eternal Sacred Union.

This exactly matches our gender pair. We've seen that the female archetype is Infinite Energy, so that clearly equates with the energy side of Einstein's equation. Likewise, the male archetype correlates to matter, though it may not seem that way at first.

Pure Being - the male archetype - is, in fact, the ultimate matter. It is unmoving and stable, just like inert matter. It remains unchanging over time if no forces act on it. It is defined mainly by its presence -- we say an object is there, it exists. Our male archetype is often called Pure Existence, because it simply IS.

In its primal state, we could say that the male archetype is non-material matter. It is the uncreated basis of matter. It is the cosmic principle that becomes matter.

Before creation, Pure Being and Pure Energy co-exist in unmanifest equilibrium. There is infinite energy together with infinite uncreated matter. Physical creation results when the equilibrium shifts, creating pockets of matter-energy, material objects separated by the void of empty space. Speaking sexually again, creation is born of the sexual union - interaction - of the male & female gender archetypes.

Uncreated matter becomes created matter, with energy as the catalyst. Matter and energy freely transform into each other, coexisting at various levels throughout creation. This perpetual interaction is their sexual activity, their continuous move in & out of each other. They flow into each other, back and forth across the gender spectrum. Existence becomes energy, energy becomes matter, matter becomes energy. Male becomes female, and female becomes male. This is the perfect Sacred Union happening at every moment in every grain of creation. They are also our model gender roles.

Archetypal Roles

Now we begin to see the archetypal roles for each gender. We'll expand on these later because there is more to them, but they make a good starting point, especially since they clearly relate to common gender roles we see in the world.

We'll describe the roles in terms of evolution, to show how each gender evolves by following its native role. The teaching is that we too grow and progress in life when we follow the archetypal gender roles.

In reading the roles, you'll see that each archetype evolves into the other. This is inherent to any spectrum. At either end of a spectrum, there is only one way to move: to the other end. Thus, as described above, male becomes female and female becomes male. This is the evolutionary gender role of each.

This mutual transformation - or gender role reversal - is important, and we'll come back to it later. It helps explain the Circle of Life.

Here are the archetypal gender roles:

Arrow Male (Pure Being) - evolves into energy.

Arrow Female (Pure Energy) - evolves into being.

The silent male archetype evolves by becoming active. It projects out into the world. This is what we commonly see. The male tendency is to be active in the world. It is also signified by the male organ, which projects out.

The active female archetype evolves by establishing presence. She becomes more like the male, which has been the silent support. On the spectrum from Pure Being to Infinite Energy, being is the base support. This explains the role of women in support, not in a lesser sense, but rather a foundational one. Women have commonly established the 'home base' on which the family grows.

Before we go further, let's again state that this is NOT the entire picture of gender role. As we go on, you'll see that each role embraces the other on its journey to wholeness in the Circle of Life.

Even in this incomplete view, the role of female 'silent support' is particularly misleading, because it has very different meanings at different levels of evolution. At its most base, energy evolves into physical matter (following Einstein's formula), becoming the base support for all activity in creation. That is the first evolutionary step for the gender archetypes. Far above that is the support role women have commonly played in the home and in society. Far higher still is the evolutionary ideal of reawakening to the Pure Silent Ecstasy that abides in the Infinite Dynamism of life. That has nothing to do with one's role in society.

Remember that we're describing gender roles, which parallel evolution. Therefore, we're starting with basic evolution and moving up the ladder. So far, we've explained the birth of creation itself. Now, we'll move up to the base gender roles we have seen in society. Later, we'll learn about gender roles that complete our evolution and fulfill the Circle of Life.

It is not the purpose of this lesson to detail the common gender roles we see in the world. These are well known and documented. For the most part in recorded history, men have taken more active roles in society, while women have played equally important (and under-appreciated) support roles.

We will however, look at biological evidence supporting these common gender roles. It suggests that gender roles are not conflicting opposites, but rather two ends of one behavioral spectrum. It also shows why both roles - silent and active - are equally important, and vital to the other. After all, they are forever together in Sacred Union.

Gender Biology (part 2)

Gender role, like gender itself, ranges along a spectrum. Male and female behavior are not distinct like apples & oranges; they are part of a continuous range. Like every other spectrum in nature, one value defines it. As we saw with gender itself, the biological determinant is the male Y-chromosome. With it, you are male; without it, you are female.

In the same way, gender role is biologically set by a male determinant. Ultimately it is the Y-chromosome, but for all practical purposes it is testosterone. Just as it guides masculine physical development, this male sex hormone impels action too. It drives male type behavior.

Testosterone's main impact on behavior though, takes place long before your first act. It occurs in the womb. Prenatal testosterone virilizes the body in ways that destine you for male behavior. Without it, female behavior is your future.

We'll describe testosterone's effects in a moment, but first let's answer questions about its female counterparts.

The main female hormone, of course, is estrogen, but others, like oxytocin, stimulate female behavior too. But it is the male factors that ultimately determine the level of even the female hormones. Male determinants in the womb prevent estrogen producers like the ovaries from ever developing.

Another indication that male hormones, broadly known as 'androgens', are primary is that they are the precursors of all estrogens. The female hormone family owes its existence to the androgens. Testosterone is the primary androgen.

The fact that gender (and gender role) is biologically determined by male features should not in any way be taken to imply male superiority. An equally compelling argument can be made for the reverse: the default gender is female; therefore it is the primary basis of life. Half of humanity enjoys full life without Y-chromosomes, but everyone relies on X.

Besides, as we've seen before in the Circle of Life, male and female always reverse. Later you'll learn about the beautiful role women play in completing our evolutionary journey. It is a role in which she is the prime determinant.

The truth is, as pointed out before, that both genders are equally valid and sacred in life. Everything male becomes female, and all that is female embraces the male. Whichever state we are in - male or female - we are in the process of becoming the other. Silence becomes active; energy becomes silent -- male becomes female and female is becoming male. Thus, we are at all times both simultaneously. We live Sacred Union already. It is just a question of consciously waking up to it.

With that context for support, let's begin the activity of exploring the male determinant's impact on gender role. The background context just given and the information you're about to read are a perfect example of gender unity. The context silently supports the information you take in. One without the other is incomplete.

Now, about that male hormone....

Testosterone can be summed up in one word: anabolic. It is classified as an anabolic steroid, meaning that it promotes the buildup of cellular tissue. The Greek word 'anabole' means "to build up". Testosterone actively builds up, projecting out into the world, physically and behaviorally.

Here are its main effects on the body:

Testosterone's immediate impact is increased mental and physical energy. Higher levels of the hormone in men explain why they are typically more active in the world than women. In anabolic fashion, testosterone also builds bone density, and muscle mass and strength. This further supports the active male. (Likewise, men typically have bigger hearts, lungs, liver, and other organs. Even the penis is nothing more than an enlarged and virilized clitoris.)

In the absence of testosterone, the body has a higher percentage of body fat. Whereas muscle equates more with activity (the male gender role), fat equates more with mass. This fits with the female archetype of energy becoming matter. Indeed, like matter, which acts as the physical stage, or support, on which we act in the world, women support by their mere presence. Whether a child or a male lover, one feels comfort and support nestled in the embrace of a woman.

Beyond these short-term effects, testosterone leaves a more permanent mark during prenatal and neonatal development. High testosterone levels during the developmental phase shape a physiology that thinks and acts like a man. Once again, the cause is the hormone's anabolic property. In this case, it impacts the brain. Like other organs, the male brain is larger, but its effect is not necessarily increased intelligence. Rather, it leads to specific male aptitudes. Equally important, its absence leaves women with their own special gifts.

Before we get to the traits that support each gender in its natural role, let's use an analogy to better understand the female side of this.

We've noted testosterone's anabolic action in building men up. What occurs in its absence? A simple analogy is a skyscraper built on broad ground. The phallic structure is an apt symbol of male ambition. He literally builds up through his dedicated action. But the role of the female is equally important in the picture. She is not merely the 'lowly' ground, or even just a support for his action. She is the broad foundation in the sense that she synthesizes and integrates everything needed to achieve the result.

Imagine the ground before the skyscraper is built. There is open land for miles around. You can see the horizon in every direction, and have the big picture. Contrast this with the detailed focus of erecting the structure itself. Both broad awareness and specific focus are needed to get the job done. These are the two gender roles in a nutshell. They are shaped by your gender anatomy. Your anatomy gives you gender-specific aptitudes.

Brain masculinization mainly occurs in the womb and/or shortly after birth. Prenatal testosterone levels are significantly higher in males. This continues through the first few months after birth, before dropping off by 4-6 months of age. During this prenatal and neonatal period, testosterone has an anabolic effect on brain development.

The result is a buildup of brain matter, leading to specialization and compartmentalization, much like building floor upon floor, room within room, of a skyscraper. This gives men their specialized focus.

The side effect of this buildup also accounts for the loss of aptitudes that women retain. In building up brain matter in the hemispheres themselves, men are left with less connection between the right and left sides of the brain. Female brains work more holistically, sharing information across the hemispheres. This accounts for the common female specialties of networking, multitasking, synthesizing information, intuition, and broad awareness. Women literally take in the horizon in every direction.

The exact mechanism for this is uncertain, but it likely has to do with the corpus callosum, the band of white matter that connects the brain hemispheres. Some studies indicate that it is proportionally larger in women, leading to better cross-brain communication, but these findings are disputed. If the studies do hold up, the culprit again is likely testosterone: in building up gray matter (the processing centers), it cuts down on white matter (the networking centers). Like the skyscraper that cuts up sightlines on the ground, testosterone cuts down coordination in the brain.

Or it may be that testosterone works in a slightly different way. The brain's networking white matter is so-called because of the fatty substance 'myelin' that surrounds the nerve fibers. Myelin acts as an electrical insulator, allowing nerve impulses to quickly pass through the brain. Testosterone converts fat to muscle as part of its anabolic action. This would reduce the amount and effectiveness of myelin in the neural network.

Inter-hemispheric coordination explains another commonly seen gender difference. Women more easily communicate feelings than men because the language and emotion centers are in different hemispheres. Men have difficulty negotiating that divide; the networking neurons of women do it with ease.

Whatever the details, findings strongly suggest that biology pre-disposes us to certain roles. Men are hard-wired for one-pointed focus; women are programmed for multilevel diversity. Men are linear; women are non-linear. A man likes to know where things stand, while a woman cannot be pegged down. Now you see why the complexity of women is such an enigma to men.

It is often easiest to see natural gender tendencies in children, when they are driven more by biological forces and less by social upbringing. Below is a small sample of findings supporting the biology of gender as described above.

Female infants are better at pattern recognition and make more efforts to communicate than males. In contrast, baby boys track objects better and have superior motor skills.

In a study of one year olds, male infants separated from their mother by a barrier responded very differently than female counterparts. The boys tried to take action, hitting against the barrier to break it down. The girls tried to communicate their plight to their mothers, 'networking' to resolve the situation.

Three year old girls were found to be much more inclined to help others, showing their communal vision. Boys were much more self-oriented, absorbed in their own activities.

Female children (and adults) have better hearing and sense of smell than males, indicating their aptitude for absorbing their environment. They have more patience (less goal oriented), and show interest in how people work (comprehending the human condition and weaving together the social fabric).

In contrast, males are more visual, the lead sense in task activities. They have better math and mechanical skills, likely resulting from their more built-up (specialized) brain structure. These skills receive an extra boost in high school, the same time testosterone shoots up (puberty). Males show more interest in how things work, making them into tools for action.

The testosterone factor is further supported by examples of rare exceptions to gender norms. Females born with the testosterone-producing condition mentioned earlier are more active, and like to play with boys and male type toys. In contrast, genetic males born without testosterone receptors have most, if not all, common female tendencies.

Gender Role Spectrum

Before you get too comfortable in any assumptions about biologically driven gender roles for men and women, remember that gender is a spectrum. It is fair to define archetypal traits as 'male' or 'female', just as Taoists classify all creation that way, but it is wrong to flatly assign them to men and women in the world.

There are several reasons for this. First, as stated at the very beginning of this lesson, everyone has both male and female archetypes within them. They are the inner essence of everyone and everything. Gender role is ultimately not about men compared to women. It is about everyone's inner male and female, and the role they play in each individual's evolution. Rising to gender wholeness means embracing both archetypes in your life. Your native gender role is just a starting point for that. We'll talk more about this shortly.

There is another reason you can't pigeon-hole people into gender roles, and it is the main point of this section. Like gender itself, gender role is a spectrum. There are no distinct male and female roles, only a range of action that falls on a behavioral spectrum.

This is certainly our experience in daily life. Men and women, especially in the West, are increasingly expanding beyond limited roles. Many, if not most, play mixed roles, and some play mainly reversed ones. Biology even disposes us to that. Just as there are intersex genders, there are 'intersex' gender roles.

The reason, once again, is that testosterone is not all-or-nothing. Higher levels in women give more masculine traits. Lower levels in men give more feminine ones. That is oversimplified, but testosterone levels clearly lead to a range of results. These biological variations are so common as to be completely normal; we accept our modern expanded gender roles without a second thought. The world is full of strong women (in any sense of the word) and also of caring, sensitive men. Rarer than these are men and women with no trace whatsoever of the opposite gender in them.

Biology just as often impels us to play a mixed or reversed role as it does to follow a single one. You are bodily led to behave somewhere on the gender spectrum, and it is rarely at either extreme.

Gender Role
& the Circle of Life

This would be the end of the gender story if evolution followed a straight line. If creation begins with its archetypes and they manifest as described, and gender follows its archetypal roles in one direction, there would be nothing more to say. But as explained earlier, the line evolution follows is circular, not straight. Creation begins with the archetypes, they manifest in the world, and then the created world begins the spiritual journey back home to its source. The 'distinct' male & female genders seek to regain the gender wholeness lost in the act of creation.

This adds a whole new dimension to gender and its role in our spiritual growth. To see what it is, let's return to the Circle of Life.

The Circle of Life brings balance to gender role and expands it beyond stereotypical limits. Consider gender as we've described it. Each gender role takes the archetype out of its essential nature. The role of the male archetype, Silent Being, is to be active. The role of the female archetype, Pure Energy, is to evolve into Being -- to become the silent support. These common roles that we see in the world - active male & silent, passive female - are at the other end of the spectrum from the archetypes themselves. Each archetype moves from one end of the gender spectrum to the other. Each has lost its native identity. That's where each role leads, so far.

But the Circle of Life suggests something more -- that we return to our primordial gender archetypes. Thus, evolution invites men to embrace their inner silence, and women to enjoy their essential dynamism. In these primal archetypal states, each gender not only returns to its own source, but also fully awakens to the other.

There is an old adage that the view on a return journey is different than on the out-bound trek. You pass the same scenery, but you see it from the reverse angle. After the round trip, you know the terrain better. You have a more complete vision.

The exact same is true with gender. Making the return trip is part of rising to gender wholeness. You complete the Circle of Life. Men enjoy dynamic lives from their platform of silent ecstasy, and women enjoy silent ecstasy supporting their dynamic lives. Both live the same fullness through the eyes of their respective genders.

The following diagram shows the evolution of gender around the Circle of Life.

Gender Evolves Out:
Male becomes active
Female becomes silent
START
Gender Archetypes:
Male - Silent Being
Female - Pure Energy

__________________

Gender Wholeness:
Pure Silence & Energy
lived in worldly life

Worldly Gender:
active male / passive female
Gender Returns to its Source:
Male regains silence
Female regains dynamism

Here we see how the active male & passive female - the so-called 'traditional' gender roles - expand and evolve as they rise to gender wholeness. The more active role of women in society today is one sign of this gender evolution.

More fascinating though, is new research that indicates women are better suited to roles relating to the return portion of our evolutionary journey. The findings suggest that women are better than men at creating wholeness.

This is exactly what we would expect, given the biology of gender. Testosterone driven men, we have seen, have more specialized brains. Women have more holistically functioning ones. Their biologically based aptitudes for multi-tasking, networking, communicating, absorbing information, and relationship-building make them ideal candidates for social, business, and political leadership roles that demand broad achievement.

Specifically, studies have found that women identify core issues & problems more quickly and accurately than men. They are better at managing diversity. Women are also better team and consensus builders. They communicate better, and better motivate and empower staff. Women are also more open and accessible, responding more quickly and thoroughly to people in need and situations that require attention.

Just as biology suits men to play certain roles in society, so does it support women in others. Both roles - male & female - have their place in the Circle of Life.

Gender Fullness

Evolution guides every man and woman to a wholeness that embraces both genders. This again sets both genders on equal status in creation. Still, there is one last gender myth that insinuates inequality. We will dispel that myth now.

Our patriarchal society typically views man as 'full', while seeing woman as 'empty', inferring that she is therefore somehow less than him. This view is often used to justify spiritual and social dominance by the male gender. It also underlies much gender discrimination.

Sadly, this idea is most often promoted by spiritualists who spew 'natural truths' to support their view. (Lesser men simply rely on strength vs. weakness to assert supremacy.) Among the evidence used by ideologues is our sexual anatomy, which requires that man fill the woman.

Even some sacred sex teachings say that Sacred Union and gender wholeness result only from man & woman - fullness & emptiness - coming together. The implication is that women, who are empty in this view, cannot rise to fullness without the aid of a man. But that, and the entire view that man is full while woman is empty, is a myth.

The magic of gender, creation, and life is that both genders are full, and so too therefore, all life and creation.

Real sacred sex wisdom explains this deep truth. It not only upholds gender equality, but also the perfect fullness of life and creation. Remember, all creation is born of our gender archetypes. If one is empty, there is emptiness in creation.

So let's see how it is that both genders are full.

The first hint that the 'full male & empty female' paradigm is incomplete comes from our gender archetypes. On the gender spectrum, male silence is the zero value and female dynamism is the full value. Activity fills the silence. Here it is the female that is full while the male is empty.

There must be more to the story. We needn't even look past the archetypes to see what it is.

The male & female archetypes, as said earlier, are not outside us. They are the inner essence of everyone and everything in creation. In us, the male essence is our Pure Inner Silence. It is our life foundation. It is like the blank movie screen on which the drama of our life experience plays out. Our female essence - our life energy - is the active drama playing out on the screen.

From this analogy, you can see the male fullness. The screen on which the movie plays is pure and expansive. We've learned that mystics and sages experience this inner silence as Infinite Bliss. We glimpse it in that moment of pure orgasmic ecstasy, where all limiting experience goes from the mind. We lose ourselves in unlimited, unbridled, unqualified, un-everything ecstasy.

That is its fullness in relation to activity. It is the experience of pure ecstasy -- more than any limited experience. The screen is more than the drama that plays on it.

Yet who can deny the fullness of the drama too? The scenery and action - all vibrant and vital life in creation - is also full. Whatever lack of fullness you may attribute to different objects & acts in creation, the totality of all that is full beyond the sum of the parts. Both life and the silent stage it plays out on are full.

The truth of dual gender fullness is beautifully expressed in India's sacred scriptures, the Upanishads. The following verse uses the same term to describe both male and female creative essence, distinguishing them only as 'this' and 'that'. The word 'purna' means "full":

Quote:
Purnamadah purnamidam
purnat purnamudacyate
Purnasya purnamadaya
purnameva vashisyate


That is full, this is full,
from fullness, fullness comes forth.
Fullness arising from fullness,
fullness remains.

-- Isha Upanishad, Invocation


The verse describes the fullness of both male and female creative essence, and says that the creation arising from that is also full.

This dual gender fullness adds yet another layer of completeness to the Circle of Life. It shows that gender is full every step of the way on its evolutionary journey. We only add to the layers of fullness as we traverse the Circle of Life.

Filling the Void

If both genders are full, you might ask, what need is there to evolve to gender wholeness? The answer is that the genders are equally empty just as they're equally full.

Energy is full compared to silence in terms of activity, but in another way it is empty. In becoming active, silent ecstasy loses its expansiveness and is reduced to limited experience. The movie screen is lost in the array of images that move across it. Or, in our skyscraper analogy, the building chops up the broad horizon. Pure inner ecstasy disappears in the hum-drum of activity. We lose the ecstasy of orgasm when impulses and thoughts return to the mind. Thus infinite energy is devoid of ecstatic silence. Male silent ecstasy fills this void in female energy.

The male void is easier to see. It is obvious in the archetypes -- silent being devoid of energy is flat nothingness. Without infinite energy at the source of creation, the universe wouldn't be. Silence would remain silent, unmanifest. Thus, she gives expression to his ecstasy.

So, while both male & female creative essence are full, they are full in different ways. This is why they each fill a void in the other. Male fills female with the experience of awakening. He brings the gift of silent ecstasy to life. Female fills male with dynamic energy. She brings the blessing of creative expression to life.

In this way, male and female essence, each full in itself, fill a void in the other. That is their gender role. Gender role raises each gender to a wholeness beyond its own innate fullness. It embraces the fullness of the opposite gender too. It is the two fullnesses together that create gender wholeness and complete the Circle of Life.

Infinite Energy fills Eternal Silence, and Eternal Silence fills Infinite Energy. God fills Goddess, and She at the same time fills Him. They are, indeed, the Perfect Pair.

Gender Role Reversal

From all this, it should be clear that it is impossible - and incorrect - to narrowly define gender role as expressed in the world. Both male & female gender archetypes are within each of us, and we've seen on the Circle of Life that each gender goes both ways. Male evolves to female and then back to male, and female returns home after becoming male.

The expanded gender roles we see in the world simply reflect this truth. While it may seem to some that we are losing our traditional values, we must remember that traditions change as society evolves. Gender expands and becomes more inclusive of its 'opposite' as it evolves. It is no surprise then, that gender roles are more fluid & flexible in progressive cultures. We should see this as a sign of growth, not lost values. (For a look at how customs change in time, see Changing Tradition.)

Each gender archetype moves away from its intrinsic nature as it begins to evolve. Silence becomes Energy, and Energy becomes Silence. It is only natural then that, having reached the other gender extreme, they return to their original nature.

Gender role reversal is, in fact, required for the mechanics of creation itself. If creation springs from the gender archetypes themselves, then it would always exist, since those archetypes eternally exist. But we know there was a time when creation was not. Science sets the 'Big Bang' at about 14 billion years ago. Religion gives its own timeline. This means that the archetypes must change in some way in order to manifest as creation. That change comes via the gender roles.

The male archetype, Being - which is matter in principle - becomes energy. At the same time, energy becomes physical matter, following Einstein's equation. Both matter & energy remain present, in balance, but now in a created state.

Each archetype has become what it was not. Male is now female, and female is male. Gender roles reverse, and creation is born.

This cosmic gender role reversal explains why the world is like a mirror reflection of spirit. Spiritually, God is the silent foundation and Goddess is the active principle. In the physical world, it is just the opposite.

We call our universe - the stage, or foundation, on which all activity of creation plays out - Mother Nature. The foundation is female. Likewise, in human anatomy, female is the base, or default, gender. Not only does it have the base 'XX' genotype, but also every fetus, whether genetically male or female, will develop as female unless something acts on it. On this female foundation in the world, it is the male that is mainly active.

Thus male is the base in our uncreated (archetypal) state, while female is base in our created state, the everyday world in which we live. Creation is ever in perfect balance. Without this gender reversal, male & female would not be in balanced harmony on every level.

Some people find it hard to accept gender & role reversal as natural. It is easier however, when you realize that it is not really a reversal at all, but simply a change of state. You wouldn't say that you undergo a reversal when you come to a full stop from a fast run, or sleep at night after an active day. Yet you are repeatedly reversing roles, changing between silence and activity. You are not fundamentally different, you've just changed states. Gender merely boils down to a change of state.

All this helps to understand gender role and its place in our return to wholeness. Gender is neither as distinct, nor static, nor narrowly defined as we commonly think. Rising to gender wholeness means transcending our limited conception of male & female, and realizing the full gender spectrum that is in each and every one of us.

With that, let's look closer at how gender role carries us around the Circle of Life.

The Nature of Gender

The common gender roles that we've seen throughout history - active male & passive female - fulfill the first phase of gender evolution. Until recently, this was the view of gender in society. Now, as society evolves, we begin a new phase of gender evolution.

In the first stage, the gender archetypes evolve into the physical world. Spirit becomes matter, then materialistic life. We know only the physical world around us.

The second phase of evolution is our return to spirit. As civilization advances, we learn there is more to life than the sensory world. Science reveals an entirely new quantum world underlying the sensory world we see. We are reawakening to the wholeness of life. We are fulfilling the next phase of our evolution.

Evolution means growth. We speak of moving 'up the evolutionary ladder'. We also talk of higher & lower nature. These also apply to gender. Let's look again at our evolution on the Circle of Life, showing the higher & lower nature of gender.

Lower Evolution:
Spirit becomes matter
START
Gender Archetypes:
Pure Spirit
__________________

Gender Wholeness:
Matter & Spirit
lived in together daily life
(higher nature)

Material Gender View:
active male / passive female
(lower nature)
Higher Evolution:
Matter reawakens to Spirit

It is common to speak of male & female nature when debating gender roles in society. This diagram makes it clear that when we do so, we must include, and differentiate between, higher and lower nature.

Higher & lower nature are not meant in the sense of good vs. bad. We do not forsake our lower nature for our higher one. Rather, higher nature unites our pure archetypal nature with our physical nature, so that we live both together. This Sacred Union brings gender wholeness. Better terms might be spiritual nature & material (or bodily) nature, but these are less familiar.

Remember again too that gender evolution ultimately refers to the male & female essence within each of us. While it's true that men more commonly express the male archetype in the world and women the female, everyone has both Pure Silence and Infinite Energy within them. Gender evolution simply means coming out of silent ecstasy into the dynamic world, and then reawakening to that ecstasy in the world. This completes the Circle of Life and brings gender wholeness.

Higher and lower nature explain some interesting things we see in the world. One of the most fascinating is gender beauty.

The fact that women are the more attractive gender in the human species seems so obviously natural that we forget that it is not so in most other animals. Birds are the clearest example, where males are near universally more colorful and endowed with plumage. Male fish are similarly adorned. But males in other species too are known for their horns, antlers, manes, and markings that make them physically stand out from the plainer females. Why is this so?

It is because lower nature, to which the rest of the animal kingdom belongs, is the domain of the active male. Male energy drives success and progress in the physical world. The inner spiritual world, which is subtler, softer, and refined, is more of a feminine domain. The beauty of human females, which puts them at the center of attention, makes them ideally suited for progress and evolution in the spiritual realm. We will learn more about this special gender role later.

The beauty of women, which goes against lower evolutionary norms that promote physical gain, should alert us to the fact that evolution means more for humans. Human life is an opportunity for spiritual growth. That is our higher evolutionary purpose. Women, nature seems to tell us, are ideally suited to lead that role.

Higher & lower nature also explain a closely related point. Energy is the driving force of evolution. The Circle of Life shows that male energy drives lower evolution, while female energy guides higher evolution. This is how we see energy in the world. Physical energy (brute force), which is male, is more primal or base. Creative energy (ideas & innovation) is more female, and guides civilization to higher values.

Last, higher & lower nature further explain one sexual feature of most species. Sex belongs to our lower nature. It is a base act common to nearly all species. In humans (and most species), the sex organs are linked by nerves to the base of the spine. The spine can be said to correlate to the evolutionary ladder. At the top is the brain, which represents the evolutionary peak for that animal. At the lower end are the sex organs.

The Circle of Life equates lower evolution with the outward projecting male. We would therefore expect to find the projecting sex organ on the male, and of course, we do.

Here we must add that sacred sex transforms the base nature of sex into something sacred. And in line with this lesson, it does so by adding a 'feminine' element to it.

Again, higher & lower nature do not carry any degree of superiority over the other. Physical and material progress is as needed as creative, cultural, and spiritual evolution. Both together make life full. This is the blessing of gender wholeness.

Soul of Gender

The Circle of Life is not something we traverse in a single lifetime. Our evolution to gender wholeness is a multi-life journey. The traveler on this journey is the soul. The roles undertaken and the experience gained over many lifetimes lead the soul to gender wholeness. The journey gives the soul experience as both male & female genders.

Like the reversing roles of our gender archetypes, the soul switches back & forth between male and female lives in order to gain experience as both. This lets us rise above the limitations of each, and live gender wholeness.

Souls that have been male for many lifetimes and are now female may be masculine for their gender, and follow male type roles. Souls that have recently been mainly female and are now male may have feminine traits and follow female roles.

These examples oversimplify things, but they show that the influences on gender go beyond our current life, including our development in the womb. The gender role each soul feels inclined to play during a given life is impacted by many factors, and it is not for others or society as a whole to dictate what those roles should be. Gender role diversity is a blessing to life and should be embraced, not debated and fought over.

Each gender brings special gifts to life. The blending of such gifts in some people who follow 'non-traditional' gender roles enriches society more. Such people show rare combinations of male & female greatness -- strength & sensitivity, courage & compassion, technical expertise & artistic creativity, clear focus & broad vision. These holistic gender roles help the entire society evolve to wholeness on the Circle of Life.

This is not to advocate mixed roles over clear masculine & feminine ones. Such roles do not necessarily indicate higher evolution or more gender wholeness. It is only to show that we should accept such roles as natural like any other.

Gender wholeness is an inner experience that can be gained by anyone, regardless of gender role in the world. Everyone should follow their own inner guidance as to what role to play in society. Likewise, we should accept the choices of others. Gender evolution occurs when we follow our natural inclination.

Rising to gender wholeness is not about men taking on the role of women, and vice versa. Nor is it about women playing the female roles, and men acting like men. It is about both genders awakening to the full range of life, from perfect silence to infinite energy. It is about embracing these male & female gender archetypes. Sacred sex calls this embrace 'Sacred Union'.

SACRED SEX GENDER ROLES

You now have a complete picture of the evolution of gender. Now, at last, we'll turn our attention to sex. As you might expect, sex shows a lot about gender role. But more than that, sex can be a powerful tool for evolving to gender wholeness. It can literally carry us around the Circle of Life. That is, when it's sacred sex.

Let's start by finding common sex on the Circle of Life. We can spot it by our common sexual gender roles.

Sexual Gender Roles

Common sex, as mentioned earlier, equates with our lower nature. We'd therefore expect common sexual roles to be the same as the lower nature gender roles on the Circle of Life. That is exactly the case. Common sex, which is epitomized by the missionary position, features the active male on top of the passive female. These are the two gender archetypes perfectly expressed in the world.

Not only is the male active, but he is also dominant in the top position. This exactly matches the dominant role of the male archetype in actively expanding creation. He is the outward expander.

But this is only half of our evolutionary journey, and the base half at that. It is the half by which the physical world comes to exist and evolve into life form, culminating in humans. We all, by virtue of being human, innately play these gender roles during sex.

Human existence is not the end of our soul journey though. Human life is not an end, but a beginning. It is the start of our return home. Human life is an opportunity for us to come home to our spiritual source.

Expanding our sexual gender roles is a simple, yet profound - and erotic - way to do it.

Sacred Sex Gender Roles

We've learned that the role of each gender archetype takes it out of its essential nature. The Pure Silent Male becomes active, losing itself, as it were. Likewise, the Pure Energy Female becomes passive, losing her dynamic essence.

Common sex, with its active male & passive female roles, not only embodies this lost essence, but also it binds us there. Every time we have sex this way, it reinforces our base human nature. It strengthens the idea that we are just physical beings.

This is not terrible in itself. We ARE physical beings, and we should accept and honor that. But we are also spiritual beings, and we must nurture that too. We should enjoy the gender roles of common sex. But we should also explore those of sacred sex. Both together bring gender wholeness.

Sacred sex gender roles return us to our archetypal essence. They reaffirm our true nature. Playing sacred sex gender roles will give you the experience of your essential self.

Sacred sex gender roles are simple. They involve being like our original archetypes themselves. For men, that means embracing your inner silence. For women, it is awakening to your inner dynamism. Men become like God, and women like the Goddess.

Because sacred sex gender roles are new, it will help to create some new archetypes. These will be our models for sacred sex interaction. Until now, the understanding of gender role in sex has been muddy. From these murky waters rise our sacred sex archetypes.

The Rock & the Temptress

In our original archetypes, God is Pure Silent BEING. He is the unchanging, unmoving support of all life -- a rock that is always there. Goddess is Infinite Creative Energy. She is the fascinating flow and change of creation -- ever tempting in her seductive variety of life.

Our sacred sex archetypes follow these exactly. We'll start with the male role since it's simpler and clearer.

In sacred sex, man is the Rock. This is only natural since he has the organ that is, literally, like a rock. We even use the expression, 'rock hard'. It's ironic that man, with this rock hard organ that simply has to BE in order to satisfy a woman, has come to think he must perform all manner of hard driving action during sex. This is only because he has forgotten his essential nature, just as the Circle of Life suggests. Man forgets his rock-like status and pursues activity as a way to satisfy his loss.

One sacred sex name for the male organ is 'lingam', from the Tantra tradition of India. Some people take lingam to mean 'Wand of Light' (though this is not a literal translation). The term refers to the power of the lingam to enlighten, or awaken, us through sex. What is relevant here is how a light works. A light source doesn't need to do anything to light up a room. Simply by virtue of what it is, it radiates and enlightens.

The same is true of the lingam. By virtue of the seed essence within it, it has the power to awaken life. The lingam embodies life -- no special action needed.

If you ask a woman to choose in bed between a man who drives hard for a few seconds and one that is a permanent rock, she'll most likely choose the rock. In a moment we'll see how sacred sex lets him satisfy his archetypal sex role.

The archetypal female sacred sex role is the Temptress. Like the Goddess she is modeled on, the Temptress flows with creative energy. This energy - and all the change, diversity, and vibrancy of life that comes with it - naturally fascinates us. It attracts us to it. We want to watch, learn, and know about it. This feminine effervescence of life is charming, enchanting, and seductive. It is, yes, tempting. It has power over us and lures us in.

Before we go further, we should clear the air around the feminine role of Temptress. The idea of woman as seductress is not new in society. Neither are the negative associations that go with it, even among women themselves. From the primordial Eve and her allegedly scandalous role in the Garden of Eden to modern vixens who 'lead men astray', the female temptress is infamous to all.

But a deeper look at the temptress reveals that she needn't be the femme fatale of historical fame. The femme fatale, according to the Random House Dictionary, is an 'irresistibly attractive woman, esp. one who leads men into difficult, dangerous, or disastrous situations'. But the temptress needn't necessarily lead us astray; she can just as well lead us ahead. In Biblical contrast to Eve, she can lead us to the Promised Land.

The temptress is feared for her power. But power too is not intrinsically bad; it depends on how we use it. Power in itself is neutral. Its influence, whether positive or not, depends on the direction we give it.

The sacred sex Temptress doesn't just lead us anywhere. Modeled on the Goddess archetype, she uses her power for Divine Good. The creative energy of the Goddess flows in the ecstasy of God. We saw earlier that male Silent Being is the experience of Pure Ecstasy. Goddess is the flow and energy of that. She is the Play of Ecstasy. Her Energy gives life to Ecstasy. She lets us feel it.

If you've ever sat still in a tub of hot water, you notice that you don't feel the heat as much as when you move in it. It's the change and contrast that bring the experience to life. Like that, Goddess is the Blissfulness of God's Bliss.

In the context of sex then, the true temptress uses her seductive power to lead herself and her partner to this ecstasy. We don't mean the momentary ecstasy of common orgasm, but rather extended orgasmic ecstasy, which is a platform for permanent spiritual ecstasy. Through repeated experience of extended orgasm, the body habituates to holding that permanently. Inner Ecstasy becomes a permanent feature of worldly life. (For a full explanation of these mechanics, see Sexual Enlightenment.)

Thus the Temptress leads us to gender wholeness. We saw on the Circle of Life how it is female energy that leads us to our higher nature, while male energy leads lower evolution. This is her role in sacred sex. The woman seduces us to Sacred Union and Sexual Enlightenment. No role is more exalted than that.

The sacred sex Temptress gives new meaning to the transformative power of this role. It is a power inherent in the Temptress archetype, but because it has been little known - and used - throughout history, the temptress has gotten a bad name. Sacred sex restores the honor of that gender role.

All of this is natural to women by their very nature. Just as men needn't do anything to be the Rock, women needn't struggle or strive to be tempting. Sexually, women ooze seduction like men bring rock-like presence. It's in her very nature. Yes, hers is an active nature so technically she may do something, but her actions are all natural and flow as naturally as the energy she embodies. The glance of an eye, the flash of a smile, a subtle gesture, or a sensuous song or dance if she is gifted in that way -- whatever she naturally does charms us...and tempts us to follow.

The name 'Temptress' merely acknowledges the natural power of women to lead. Sacred sex gives them the wisdom to use that power for the benefit of all. This sets the role of Temptress in the highest esteem of society. Women become leaders of men for the good of society. They are catalysts for good, not agents of 'evil'.

The Rock & the Temptress
In - and Out - of Sex

The Rock & the Temptress are not just abstract ideals that give sex a lofty name. They are practical roles with precise meaning and clear function in sex. It is by these simple, yet profound roles that the entire value of gender that has been taught in this lesson comes to life. The roles of the Rock & the Temptress in bed make gender evolution real.

For all the lengthy, detailed teaching given above, playing the roles themselves is short and sweet. Each boils down to one simple point. By achieving that key point, each gender fulfills its respective sacred sex role, and evolves around the Circle of Life.

The key points for the two genders are also simple in that they basically center on one thing. That one thing is the Seed of Ecstasy. Sacred sex aims at awakening both him & her to Supreme Ecstasy. The central focus of the gender roles therefore is, not surprisingly, the seed of that ecstasy.

The Seed of Ecstasy, as we've said, is the male seed. It is that which makes him the rock-like support of life, and which makes his lingam a radiating 'Wand of Light'. It is from this seed that ecstasy grows.

In common sex, that seed grows to a momentary glimpse of ecstasy in the flash of orgasm. But in the view of sacred sex, that fleeting glimpse is a waste of the precious seed. For if the seed has the potential to bestow Eternal Ecstasy, why would you trade it for a glimpse? It's like selling a diamond for the price of coal. And you are selling your own seed.

The sacred sex gender roles center on nurturing and cultivating this seed, enjoying its sensuous sprout, relishing its virile growth, playing in its every erotic branch, and imbibing its succulent fruits, until it blossoms into fully flowered Eternal Ecstasy.

That description sounds nice, but it's still abstract. Here are the keys to the Rock & the Temptress in plain english:

Idea Key to being a Rock: The key for the man is to preserve his seed. This literally keeps him hard like a rock. It also keeps him emotionally present -- someone stable she can count on, like a rock. After a man loses his seed (ejaculates), he not only becomes physically soft, but also emotionally distant. He is no longer there for his partner; he is no longer a rock she can rely on. He is no longer a support for her ecstasy.

Most important though, retaining his seed preserves his sexual energy and lets him enjoy multiple orgasm and extended orgasmic ecstasy. He cultivates Inner Ecstasy, which brings gender wholeness.

If a man wants to rise to gender wholeness and sexual enlightenment, he must remain like a Rock.

You'll find a practical way to preserve the male seed in Sacred Sex Lesson 4. The lesson includes a full discussion of how the practice leads to extended orgasm that brings inner awakening.

Lesson 4 teaches a simple exercise you can do during sex that fits easily and erotically with the sex act itself, which preserves the seed. This works regardless of your attitude toward sex. However, if men want to add conscious intention to enhance the effect, the following may help him play his role.

Remember that the male archetype is rock-like by nature. It is silent stable Being. The active male impulse takes you out of your essential nature. This impulse drives common sex. So in order to remain like a rock, let go of your active impulse and just BE what you are. Know that you can satisfy your partner just by being there for her, firm like a Rock.

Idea Key to being a Temptress: The key for the woman is the same as the man's -- to preserve his seed. (We said it was simple, and centered on one thing, right?)

First, let's explain why a woman's role centers on something in the man.

The reason is that it serves her own best interest.

It's a simple fact that sex typically lasts as long as the man. It is therefore in both partners' interest to keep him like a Rock. Like him, the woman plays her role because it enhances and deepens her own sexual experience.

Women can have virtually continuous sex, unlike men. When a woman climaxes, she doesn't lose her seed (or egg), and doesn't require down time to rejuvenate for more sex. Rather, she is often just getting warmed up. Vital to her satisfaction then, is whether her man can continue pleasing her. This depends on whether he remains like a rock.

Beyond mere satisfaction though, continued sex lets her enjoy multiple and extended orgasmic ecstasy. She cultivates Inner Ecstasy, which brings gender wholeness.

If a woman wants to rise to gender wholeness and sexual enlightenment, she must keep her man like a Rock.

What role does a woman play in preserving her man's seed? Given her sexual power, she plays a major role. Remember that women hold the real power in sex. While man is physically stronger, she charms and seduces him to follow her lead. When she plays her role well, she preserves his seed and leads them both to gender wholeness.

Woman has been scorned (by man) throughout history for her temptress role. Ironically though, the disdain is because she has failed as temptress, not succeeded.

A temptress is one who tempts. So long as a man remains like a Rock, virile and full of sexual desire, he follows a woman who tempts him. She has power over him. But the moment he loses his seed, and with it his sexual energy, he loses desire for her. The instant he is no more a Rock, he is no longer a slave to her sexual charms. She loses her power to tempt him. She is a failed temptress.

Therefore, in order to be a successful Temptress, a woman must protect her man's seed. She must be like the Goddess - an Eternal Temptress - perpetually preserving the Ecstasy of God by playing in it without losing it. Only then can she tempt him as long as she desires. Only then does she continuously hold onto her sexual power.

Not only does she hold her power, but also she preserves her honor. So long as a man feels virile and alive in the presence of a woman, he honors her. But when he loses his seed and virility at her hands (or any other body part!), he scorns her.

Under these conditions, the man gladly gives the Temptress power. His benefit from her power is that she can only lead in the right direction. She can only lead man to gender wholeness. The moment she leads him astray, he is no more a Rock and her power as temptress is gone. To keep their power, women must use it for good.

The role of Temptress is active, while the Rock is the silent support. Thus sacred sex invites the woman to take a more active role in sex, allowing the man to return to his silent essence and be the enduring support she wants him to be.

Several features of sacred sex help bring this teaching to the bedroom.

First, sacred sex encourages female dominant positions. These free her up to be more active, while stabilizing her man as support. It is no surprise that several cultures with ancient sacred sex teachings depict sexual relations with the woman on top. This contrasts with the man-on-top missionary standard in the West. In many cases, the ancient cultures even depict their deities in the female dominant sex positions, indicating the sacred nature of the practice.

Goddess Kali astride Shiva,
from the Tantra tradition of India


Goddess Nut over Geb,
from ancient Egypt


Female seated on male (Yab-Yum posture),
from Tibetan Buddhist Tantra

You can learn more about sacred sex positions in Lesson 3. From her dominant position, the Temptress easily assumes her leading role. She can be active, while her partner acts as support. She guides the type & tempo of sexual stimulation.

Here, sacred sex supports the Temptress role another way. It encourages her to follow her natural feminine style of moving. Sexually, the active female is different than the active male. Whereas he uses more direct physical action, hers is more sensual and feminine. She moves with all the deep creative energy of the Goddess. Rather than driving in & out to 'get the job done' like the task-oriented male, the Temptress dances and undulates, sensuously playing. She stimulates deep, penetrating arousal and pleasure that awaken ecstasy at its very core. Thus by the way she moves, the Temptress leads herself and her lover to Inner Ecstasy of Being.

She arouses herself and her partner to a highly charged state, but doesn't make her man ejaculate. To use an analogy, she leads him to the edge of the precipice, but doesn't push him over the cliff. There, standing on the edge, both she & he let the ecstasy of the moment wash over them. When it fades a bit - when they've backed off from the cliff - she tempts him on again, bringing them back to the edge.

In this prolonged erotic state, both partners experience a new kind of orgasm: climax without falling off the cliff. The sustained arousal induces the body to orgasm. For him, it comes without ejaculation, allowing him to do it over & over again. And he remains hard like a rock, allowing her to do the same. The technique in Lesson 4 aids this experience.

Like this, on her lead, they dance on the edge of ecstasy. The Temptress dances on her ever firm Rock. She leads him on enough to entice him forward, without ever dragging him out of himself and setting him back. She keeps him aroused, but not over the top. This gives them both the opportunity to explore a different peak -- Inner Ecstasy that goes on & on.

Sacred sex teaches other tools that help you experience Inner Ecstasy. These are valuable for both partners, but they especially aid the Temptress in fulfilling her role. They allow her to gauge & guide her and her lover's place on the edge of ecstasy.

Sacred sex teaches you how to easily read your partner's sex energy. The Temptress can use these simple signs to tell just how close to the edge her partner is, so she knows when to tempt on or ease off. This lets her maintain perfect balance for both of them on the fine erotic line of ecstasy. You learn this in Sacred Sex Lesson 6.

The lessons also teach you to induce orgasm in ways other than common stimulation. Sacred sex massage slips you and your partner into orgasm, without slipping from peak arousal. For the Temptress, it's another tool to induce orgasm without stepping over the edge. You learn these simple massage tips in Sacred Sex Lesson 5.

There is one specific massage technique that brings male inner ecstasy during sex. By massaging his prostate (also known in sacred sex as the male G-spot), the Temptress can induce powerful and long-lasting orgasm experiences. She can easily do this sitting atop her prone lover, facing his feet. This special massage is taught in Lesson 4. For more on this male inner erogenous zone, see Sacred Sex Stimulation. (The female G-spot is naturally massaged during intercourse, giving her the same experience.)

The active Temptress role is natural to women, but is often suppressed by society, conflicting values, male intimidation, and other factors. Earlier we validated the sacred sex Temptress by showing that she uses her power for good. Women still conflicted about sexual expression are encouraged to read Sacred Sex Values to better accept their sexuality, especially in the context of sacred sex. Societies that suppress sexuality, especially feminine sexuality, should read & adopt those values too, to create a healthy sexual climate for their people. Men in the habit of stifling female sexual expression will hopefully now honor and encourage it after reading this lesson.

Women whose sexuality is inhibited due to esteem issues can read Healthy Self-Esteem. Female sexuality may also be dormant due to general lack of acceptance, love, and appreciation in their lives. They are encouraged to develop sacred sex relationships to re-open their hearts.

Women whose sexuality is constricted for any of the above reasons (or others, such as health issues) tend to be passive during sex, if they engage in it at all. This, we have seen, is the base female sex role. The main sexual desire of such women, in line with basic sexual anatomy, is to be 'filled' by the man. She views herself as an empty vessel, reinforcing her passive sexuality.

Sacred sex by its very nature encourages female sexual expression. It not only honors the woman as a goddess, but also it extends sex, giving her time to get deeply aroused and flowing in her sexual energy. It even gives a technique to directly stimulate her energy. The same method used by the man to preserve his seed pumps up the sex energy in both partners. This is taught in Lesson 4.

Like men, women can add a conscious intention to enhance the effect of this technique, if they want. This helps create a mindset that encourages her Temptress role.

Ladies, remember that your female archetype is active by nature. Goddess is Infinite Creative Energy. You ARE the Eternal Temptress. Passive sexuality and the need to be full stem from loss of your essential nature. To regain your Goddess status, just be what you naturally are. Rise from passively wanting to be filled and reawaken to your creative, seductive energy.

Later, men will learn the special way that being a Rock awakens the Temptress in women. This has the power to balance & heal factors that inhibit her sexuality.

Men should not fear that the sacred sex gender roles make them subservient to women. Sacred sex gender roles merely balance conventional sex roles. They comprise half the Circle of Life. Both halves make the whole. Common sex and sacred sex roles can both be enjoyed in sex.

Sex is both a physical act and a spiritual one. Common sex roles celebrate the bodily side of sex. That satisfies our lower nature. Sacred sex roles celebrate the sacred side of sex. That satisfies our higher nature. Both together make up the Circle of Life. Common sex and sacred sex together make complete sex.

Men and women can switch roles during sex, one leading at times, the other leading at other times. This follows the natural pattern of gender role reversal and cultivates gender wholeness.

Men should encourage and support women in their role as Temptress. It allows men to regain their own inner essence as the Rock. Upholding the Temptress role even helps them regain their essence, for in doing so, they support her, like a rock.

Honoring her as Temptress simply acknowledges her special gift for leading to spiritual wholeness. Men have their own gift of building up the physical world. Both gifts are vital to life and equally important. Male and female are a complete pair.

The sacred sex roles of Rock & Temptress have their place outside of sex too. We've discussed the female biological traits that equip them to lead society to wholeness. To that we will add some traits of the Temptress. Women make natural symbols for social ideals. Even in our patriarchal society, where men lead and command power, he uses woman to inspire his action.

The best example of this may be 'Lady Liberty'. This icon, presumably conceived of by men, stands for freedom throughout the world. Most notably, she guided the famed French Revolution and subsequently served as the model for the Statue of Liberty, gifted by France to America. She has served as a national symbol in many countries, including Britain and Germany. Her names there, Britannia and Germania respectively, show her tie to the very national identity.

Justice is another ideal typically represented as female. She is depicted holding balanced scales in her hands. The Christian virtue Charity is also female. Women serve as male inspiration in smaller ways too. Ships, cars, rockets, and other male creations are either given feminine names or referred to as 'she' & 'her'.

Lady Justice - Britain
Mother Motherland - RussiaStatue of (Lady) Liberty - USA
Lady Liberty - France

Why are female icons chosen for these roles? Why do men not take patriarchal pride and create male models instead? The answer lies in the innate inspiration of women. These icons testify to the female power to lead - tempt - us to higher ideals.

The man also plays his gender role outside the bedroom. The warrior male, just by his presence, lets society feel secure, like a rock. In the same way in relationships, his strength and stability - physical and financial - firmly support the household. Emotionally, women most of all want him to be there for her, through anything & everything, like a rock.

Thus, in & out of sex, sacred sex gender roles support life and society.

Ecstasy Archetypes

The Temptress guides life to a genuine sacred sex state. Inner Ecstasy is true spiritual fullness. The power that the Temptress uses to take us there is sexual -- her innate capacity to attract. So, whether in or outside the context of sex, the Temptress brings together sex & spirit.

But there is more to the sublime role of the Temptress than this. It is not just that she uses her sexual power to lead us to something spiritual. That which she leads to is both sexy and spiritual. After all, sacred sex loses some of its appeal if it leads to some sexless spiritual 'bliss'. We've equated that with sexual ecstasy, but are those mere words, or is there real truth to it?

To answer that, we're going to explore the sensuous side of our original gender archetypes. You'll discover not just that they're sexual, but that they are orgasmic ecstasy itself. You experience the archetypes every time you orgasm. You enjoy a fleeting glimpse of Inner Ecstasy.

To understand this, we only need to separate the experience of orgasm from the physiology of it. You don't commonly think of it, but when you climax, two distinct things happen at the same time.

One is that your body has an orgasmic response. The main feature of this is repeated spontaneous contraction of the sexual organs. For women, this is typically felt throughout the vaginal canal. In men, it is in the muscles surrounding the prostate (which ejaculate the semen in common sex).

Simultaneously - and much more notable - is the experience of orgasm you feel in your mind. This is a completely inner experience that is distinct from the bodily orgasmic response (in sacred sex, you can experience orgasm with or without the physical response). We only see them as interdependent because they're always concurrent in common sex.

The new view of orgasm shows its two clear components: inner & outer. There is the inner experience and the outer (bodily) response. The inner ecstasy is completely devoid of external content -- in that orgasmic instant, your mind drops all memory, thought, and other 'baggage' that limits its pleasure, and drowns in ecstasy.

Now here's the main point: these two precisely match the two extremes on the Circle of Life. The diagram below shows how they fit the circle as we know it.

Gender Archetypes:
Pure Being & Energy
_____________

Experience of Orgasm:
Pure Ecstasy
Physical Life:
bodily orgasmic response

So, when you experience sexual orgasm, you literally experience the gender archetypes. You tap into your inner essence. Even during common sex, you traverse the Circle of Life for a fleeting moment at orgasm. Sacred sex simply deepens and lengthens the inner ecstasy, so that you enjoy the whole Circle of Life permanently. The Temptress leads to this.

To remove any doubt about the sexuality of the archetypes, let's look closer at our previous description of them.

Our original archetypes were Pure Being (male) and Pure Energy (female). These match the God & Goddess of many spiritual traditions and are sexual in that they have gender-like interaction. But they aren't particularly sexual in name. That's because the names are more descriptive than experiential. That is, they describe what the archetypes are rather than how we experience them.

We just asserted that orgasmic ecstasy is experience of the archetypes. We suggested that based on the experience of ecstasy. Now let's approach it from the other side and see if we come to the same conclusion. Is there sexual ecstasy in Pure Being and Pure Energy?

We'll start by emphasizing that our God & Goddess archetypes are experiential. They are our inner essence, and therefore accessible to the inner experience of all. And when we experience the archetypes, they become an intimate part of our lives.

Naturally then, we want to know the nature of that experience. We want to know what it is like to live them. And if we celebrate our sexuality, we want to know how the archetypes fit in with that. Do they conflict, as some religions suggest they do, or is there harmony between them? Or even more, are they fundamentally the same, meaning that the archetypes underlie our sexuality and uphold its sanctity?

We've seen how sacred sex awakens us to our inner archetypes. We've identified some sexual archetypes - the Rock & the Temptress - modeled after them. But what about our primal inner archetypes? When we awaken to them, is there something more than Pure Being & Pure Energy? Are they more sexual than we've seen? Are they, dare we ask, even highly erotic themselves?

We hinted at a sexual connection in the male archetype earlier, when we described it as Pure Ecstasy. This is how many spiritual traditions describe the experience. But even ecstasy - or 'Bliss' as they typically call it - isn't innately sexual in itself. It is only clearly so when seen together with its female counterpart. It turns out, there's a lot more to Pure Energy than we've let on. Pure Energy is just her cover. There is much more when she's lain bare.

The Goddess is not just Pure Energy -- She is Pure Desire.

It is Desire that drives Her Energy. And since that Desire is for Union with Pure Ecstasy - God - Goddess is Pure Sexual Desire.

It is not much of a leap to go from Pure Desire to Pure Energy. In fact, desire explains the how & why of energy. We've put Silent Being and Pure Energy at two ends of the gender spectrum. But how does silence activate? Why does it become energy in the first place? Pure Ecstasy and Pure Desire explain it.

The whole thing is easier to fathom when you think of God & Goddess like Cosmic Mind. Divine Mind is Ecstasy. The male aspect of that - God - simply IS. Now ask yourself this: if you were a mind that is Pure Ecstasy, what would you want? Wouldn't your first desire be simply to enjoy your own ecstasy? This desire to play in your own mind would be ecstasy playing in ecstasy. The desire itself would be ecstasy too. That is Pure Desire. That is the female essence -- Goddess.

With desire, there is motion and energy. That is how the Goddess came to be associated with these, but deep down at her inmost core she is Pure Desire.

This is the teaching of at least one ancient tradition too. Shakti, the Goddess from India we mentioned earlier, is also known as Cosmic Desire.

The Goddess is not desire in the worldly sense that we commonly know. When we desire, we desire something outside ourselves. The Goddess is Ecstasy desiring Herself. She is literally pure desire. She is the object of desire, She is the act of desire, and She is the one who desires.

Now you begin to see how God & Goddess remain in Eternal Sacred Union. He IS Pure Ecstasy. She is the Play of Desire in Ecstasy. Together, they frolic in the eternal desire of ecstasy.

If that sounds somewhat sexual, it should. That's because there is a very human experience that is like that. It's the archetypal experience we described earlier -- orgasm.

At that peak moment of orgasm, everything falls away from the mind. All thought and even sexual desire evaporate in the ecstasy of the moment. Your desire, if you can even call it that because it's unlike any other desire, is simply to be in that ecstasy.

Your desire for sex vanishes because you've reached the goal of sex. Even your desire for that goal - orgasm - falls away because you're finally there. The ecstasy is so intense that there's nothing left to desire. There is nothing more to want. Your mind lets go of all common experience. All that remains is ecstasy.

For that instant, you are ecstasy desiring ecstasy. You are Pure Desire AND Pure Ecstasy. You are God & Goddess in Sacred Union.

If you're like most people and have only enjoyed common sex, you probably never thought of orgasm that way. But in sacred sex, you experience orgasm so deeply, and so many times, and for such long periods of time, that the truth of what it is becomes clear.

Pure Desire is a letting go. You begin sex with the desire for ecstasy, but it only comes when you let go. Orgasm is a release -- a mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual release. And this total release leaves you with Pure Ecstasy.

In painting this picture of Pure Ecstasy and Desire, we should clarify one point to affirm the truth of gender equality. Pure Ecstasy and Desire share equal status -- the female archetype is not short-changed in the ecstasy department.

As stated above, Pure Desire is the Play of Pure Ecstasy. It is the move of Ecstasy within itself. It is Pure Ecstasy feeling ecstatic. Goddess is the Nature - the Play - of God. She is the Blissfulness of Bliss. She brings the experience of ecstasy to life. He IS ecstasy, but she's the experience of it. The two gender archetypes are equally ecstatic.

The sacred sexuality of your inner archetypes means that you don't depend on your external partner to satisfy the aim of gender role. You have both partners - both archetypes - within yourself. Men, Inner Ecstasy can be yours with or without a competent Temptress in bed. Ladies, it can be yours even if you are new to the role taught in this lesson, and regardless of whether your partner supports your active sex role. The next section shows how.

Your Own Inner Temptress

Because the archetypes are everyone's inner essence, they offer a universal way to use the Goddess within to get to Inner Ecstasy. Men & women alike can follow their own inner Temptress to Pure Ecstasy.

We just described the archetypes as Pure Ecstasy & Desire. Sacred sex uses the nature of that experience to lead you to it.

In sacred sex, or any sex for that matter, you follow your desire. In gender role lingo, you follow your inner temptress. Or rather, she leads you on. She tempts you to ecstasy. Whether your temptress truly succeeds or half fails depends on what happens when you get near the edge.

If you let go of desire - if you set the temptress free - you fall into Inner Ecstasy. You become the Temptress. You let go of sexual desire and become Pure Desire -- desire desiring to be in its own ecstasy. Your inner male & female join in sexual union. You merge with God & Goddess.

If you cling to desire, she remains a common temptress - small 't' - and leads you over the edge to common orgasmic ecstasy. You enjoy a fleeting glimpse of ecstasy, but she doesn't deliver the true treasure. You've traded eternal ecstasy for an instant of it. You've sacrificed a gold mine for a small nugget.

Desire is just common desire if it leads you over the edge. But it becomes sacred desire - the Goddess/Temptress - if you let her go at the edge of ecstasy. Set her free and dive into Pure Ecstasy. It is a sacred immersion. You fall deep into ecstasy until you literally drown in it -- leaving behind everything else. You emerge from that ocean as a truly ecstatic being. You rise from it as the embodiment of God & Goddess.

The technique for connecting with your inner Temptress is simple. Desire & let go. Let go of desire and become Pure Desire.

During sex, desire arouses your life energy. You rise to higher states of relaxed pleasure. This primes your body for ecstasy; it readies you for orgasmic response. Before your energy is spent, let go of it and sink into ecstasy. By retaining your sexual energy, which is the Goddess, you allow her to show you perpetual energy -- desire & energy flowing in its own ecstasy.

It doesn't matter what your sexual desire is. Whatever stimulates you to arousal - whatever turns you on - that is your Temptress. All that matters is that it attracts you, that you want it. That gives it power to tempt and seduce you, to lead you to ecstasy. It doesn't have to be a 'pure' or 'good' desire. In fact, if such desires hold no appeal for you, they are impotent temptresses; they have no power to lead you anywhere.

Many people would judge the Temptress on the type of desire. They hold 'pure' sexual desires above 'impure' ones. But the truth is that what separates a Sacred Temptress from a common temptress is not the desire, but whether or not you let go of it. NO desire of this world, no matter how exalted, is Pure Ecstasy because it always holds a sense of longing. There is an absence, a yearning, a void, that accompanies any desire. The only ecstasy is in letting go of desire, and then, it doesn't matter what the desire was because now it's gone. Letting go of the most sinful desire is infinitely better than clinging to the most haloed one. Only letting go brings you infinite ecstasy; everything else is finite.

The 'moral' quality of the desire doesn't matter. What matters is its power to take you near enough to ecstasy so that when you let go, you have a profound experience. In theory, you can follow your Temptress in daily life. You can desire something and let go, and you will fulfill the aim of gender role in that instant. But you won't experience much because you're not in a heightened state of arousal. Your body can't make the leap from common experience to ecstasy. Only in sex, when you are near ecstasy anyway, can you make that small extra leap.

What matters with desire then is one thing: its appeal to you. Only then will it lead you in the direction of ecstasy. Only then does it bring you to the edge, from where you can make the leap to ecstasy.

That appeal is different for every individual. What tempts one person to ecstasy may have no appeal to others. No one can say what desire is good or not for anyone else. You must follow your own desire. Call it your personal fetish. (For more on these points, read: Sacred Desire, Myth of Evil, Sacred Sex Values, and Follow Your Heart.)

Whatever your sexual desire, remember just one thing: let go at the edge, before you go over. Then you leap to INNER ecstasy, rather than falling off the cliff of fleeting ecstasy.

Falling over the cliff is fine, but don't expect to get off the ground and do it again; you're flattened by the fall. Common orgasm drains your energy, especially for men. Inner Ecstasy energizes you to climax again and again.

The Temptress and Ecstasy in everyone show that gender role is ultimately an inner affair. Everyone can follow the lead of their own gender archetypes around the Circle of Life. All this is possible because your inner essence - God & Goddess, Pure Ecstasy & Desire - is wholly & utterly sexual.

The key to satisfying the roles of Rock & Temptress then, whether during or outside of sex and whether within yourself or with your partner, boils down to this: desire & let go. Follow desire to the edge of ecstasy and let go into ecstasy. Follow the Temptress, then let her go and BE the Rock of Ecstasy. Follow her in whatever form she appears for you and wherever she takes you. It matters not where she leads you because when you let her go, you discover Pure Ecstasy everywhere.

Do this and you satisfy your sacred sex gender role and complete the Circle of Life.

Just as inserting the lingam in the yoni - the male organ in the female - defines sex, so does this define the Rock & Temptress roles. Whatever more you add is simply your brand of sacred sex. There are countless sex positions and infinite sex desires, but intercourse defines them all as sex. In the same way, personal desire makes for the sensuous and erotic variety of sacred sex. But it is all sacred sex if meets this definition. Follow your own Temptress; just let her go in the end and sink into the Rock of Ecstasy.

Sex as Nature Intended

The sacred sex gender roles of Rock & Temptress are, above all, natural. They are based on natural evolution that follows the Circle of Life. The sex they create - sacred sex - completes this natural circle of evolution. It is, literally, sex as nature intended.

We commonly use nature to shape our views of sex. Some cite the animal kingdom as evidence that sex is natural and nothing to be ashamed of. Others use animal sex to argue the opposite -- that sex is base and beneath human dignity. Both sides however, only see half of sex, the baser half. They do not see the sacred side of sex, the side that satisfies our higher nature. They don't see the whole Circle of Life.

This partial view of sex creates the conflict. On the one hand, lower sex is part of our nature and should be accepted. On the other, it is beneath us in the sense that we have a higher, spiritual nature.

This conflict is reconciled when we see the full nature of sex. Our higher sexual nature upholds our high human dignity. Sexual nature no longer conflicts with the highest ideals of human nature. Sex is a mirror of the totality of life.
Lower Sexual Nature:
'animal' sex
Spiritual
Human Nature
Base
Human Nature
Higher Sexual Nature:
sacred sex

Sex in the animal kingdom does show that it's natural. But the animal kingdom is not a perfect example to emulate. The animal kingdom is capable only of lower sex. Only we can elevate it to sacred sex. The mating style of humans and animals shows this, in a way that teaches another point about gender role.

Throughout the animal kingdom, humans are one of the very few species that mate face to face (dolphins, said to be very highly evolved, are another, as are bonobos, the most highly evolved species of apes). This positioning marks a vital step in the evolution of sex.

In the rear entry position, used by the vast majority of the animal kingdom, the female is forced into a passive role, and sexual activity is dictated by the male. This exactly matches lower sex as described earlier, in which the active male leads.

Face-to-face sex positions allow, for the first time, women to take an active, even leading role in sex. She has more mobility, and her face-to-face position suggests equal status with the man. The fact that this positioning occurs almost exclusively in humans suggests that human sexuality is unique, with the capacity to elicit unique sexual experiences.

Then there is this: face-to-face sex means that female beauty plays a more prominent role. This sets the stage for women to use their attractive power, the main 'tool' of the Temptress. In rear entry positions, the female's face is turned away from the male. She can tempt and seduce less. This is another indicator that face-to-face sex - that is, human sex - is a turning point on the Circle of Life. Human sexuality is a springboard for the return journey to our evolutionary home.

The evolution to face-to-face sex by humans shows one more gender role dynamic. It supports the teaching that women play the leading role in sacred sex. In evolving from rear entry sex to the face-on version, it is women who mainly change. She rises from a passive receiver to an active participant. Since it is mainly her position and role that changes, she must be the main catalyst for any higher experiences that human sexuality offers. This establishes her as the lead partner in sacred sex.

It also balances the last bit of gender inequity that may be left over from earlier in the lesson. In gender development, we explained that the main determinants were male. The presence (or absence) of a Y-chromosome and testosterone, both male, determine our gender identity. That accounts for our basic, lower nature. It evolves us from undifferentiated wholeness to gender-specific life. It takes us halfway around the Circle of Life.

In the womb, we all begin in the same undifferentiated wholeness. We are all complete beings, capable of becoming either gender. By the time we emerge into the physical world, we are gender specific. This evolutionary process is driven by the male gender.

Now we see that the return journey - from our limited gender identity to a state of gender wholeness - is guided by the woman. She is the 'determinant', to use the same word, for restoring us to gender wholeness. The following graphic shows the balanced circle of evolution.
Physical Evolution:
male determinant
Spiritual
Start/End
Physical Life
Spiritual Evolution:
female determinant

Temptress as Teacher

The leading status of women on this part of our evolutionary journey suits them for a specific prominent role in life: sacred sex teacher. The profession of sacred sex teacher is the perfect fulfillment of the Goddess/Temptress archetype. It is the preeminent female gender role. Her role in society is to balance and harmonize the two extremes of life -- sex & spirit. She integrates material and spiritual life. The Temptress unites heaven and earth. This marriage of 'opposites' is Sacred Sex Union.

In achieving this, the sacred sex teacher fulfills human evolution. She completes the Circle of Life, joining our higher & lower natures. The Temptress makes life whole.

Many ancient cultures honored this profession, openly accepting and practicing it in society. Temples housed communities of priestesses dedicated to serving their people in this way. The profession was often handed down from mother to daughter, much the way that fathers pass their business down to sons today. In some cultures, every woman was expected to serve some time in the temple as a rite of passage to adulthood. Egypt, India, Rome, Greece, Babylon, and Sumer are among the ancient cultures in which female sacred sex teachers thrived. To learn more about these, see the Sacred Sex Tradition Forum.

The Society for Sacred Sexuality is fully committed to supporting women in this role. We offer training & other assistance to women seeking to transition into this life, and also to those who have already begun the journey. Among our goals is to create Temple environments where goddesses can live & teach together, modeled on the sacred sex temple communities of old. For more information on this, see our Sacred Sex Shrinepage or contact the Society for Sacred Sexuality.

Sacred Sex as
Transformational Catalyst

As revolutionary as sacred sex gender roles are, they alone are not the real magic. The true wonder is how sacred sex transforms common sex roles into sacred sex ones.

Remember, common sex is as much a part of our nature as is sacred sex. Common sex roles are therefore in our nature too. What's more, we are often more comfortable in these old familiar roles.

Because we live in a physical world, we have a very physical approach to sex. Material life promotes our lower nature, so our sex naturally follows that same lower nature. We relate more to familiar common sex roles. Sacred sex gender roles don't resonate.

How then, do we transform them - naturally - into something more? How do we smoothly transition from common sex to sacred sex?

We evolve from one to the other the same way nature does, by starting with our lower nature and gradually rising to our higher nature.

Common sex roles naturally flow into sacred sex ones if we allow them too. The only thing that stops it is not knowing about sacred sex roles, and so remaining stuck in common sex ones. Below is a natural example of how this transition occurs, if we let it.

Men commonly begin sex aggressively due to male lower nature and competitive social forces. They start as the active partner. Most women begin sex more receptively according to their lower nature, allowing the man to take the lead. Some women, especially outside the West where competitive society is less pervasive and fewer women pursue 'male' type goals, begin sex with a very passive, submissive attitude.

Both men and women naturally follow these familiar common sex roles in the early stages of sex play. As sexual arousal grows though, subtle shifts occur. Women grow more active, slowly squirming, gyrating, and writhing. As passion rises, they may grind their hips. They will even change position to assume a more active role. This is her archetypal energy waking up. She naturally transitions to her leading role.

Men go through a similar shift, though it is typically buried by layers of male conditioning imposed by society. Man's natural inclination as he gets more aroused is to ease off and enjoy his pleasure. Once he has 'taken the edge off' in the first stages of sex, he is more content to relax and enjoy the pleasure. He is also more open to laying back and letting her take the lead. If he is secure in himself and not in need of being in control, he will even lie still and let her 'have her way' with him. He naturally becomes the Rock.

Not all men follow this natural inclination due to the machismo conditioning of society. Men are raised to believe that they are not real men unless they 'take charge'. Women often believe the same of their men, encouraging the role more. This however does not negate the natural lessening of male drive that occurs when men are sufficiently aroused.

Understanding the purpose and value of sacred sex gender roles encourages both partners to accept the natural changes that occur during sex. Allowing her to take a more active role in sex paves the way for the Temptress to lead both partners to Inner Ecstasy.

Not everyone is constrained by conventional sex roles. Many people readily relate to the sacred sex gender roles taught here. Modern women especially are reclaiming their active sexuality, and are not afraid to assert themselves in bed. The beauty of sacred sex is that it accommodates everyone, regardless of where they are on the Circle of Life.

Start wherever you are. Your current position on the circle is far less important than the fact that you're moving around it. If you already have an evolved sexual nature and resonate with sacred sex gender roles, by all means follow them from the outset. But if you're like many, and typically relate more to common sex roles, start with them and gradually change as you feel too.

Your own desire leads you to it, as shown by the scenario above. Women, follow your natural urge to express yourself as your passion rises. Don't be afraid to take over. Men, be open to relaxing and enjoying your pleasure, and following the lead of your woman. You naturally rise to sacred sex gender roles when you are ready for them.

This transformational aspect of sex is what gives it such evolutionary power. More than any other act, sex has the power to change the direction of life. It is the catalyst for transforming material life into spiritual life. It marks the turning point in the Circle of Life.

Evolution toward
physical life
Ecstasy:
Physical & Spiritual
Wholeness

Sex as Catalyst
for Directional Change
Evolution toward
spiritual life

Both men & women play a role in this transformation. While women have a leading sacred sex role, men have a leading conventional sex role, and both have a role in the transformation from one to the other. Common sex and sacred sex together comprise the entire Circle of Life. Men & women share equal and balanced roles on that circle.

Common sex, with the active male stimulating the passive female to physical ecstasy, is half of sex. The other half, with the active female tempting her rock-like male to Pure Inner Ecstasy, is the other half. Both halves together comprise the whole of the Circle of Life.

The Lesson 4 practice mentioned earlier has the added effect of hastening gender role transition. For men, it is a subtler activity that replaces his hard driving action, yet brings the same sexual arousal. This gives him the pleasure he wants, without having to be so aggressive. He is closer to being the Rock. For women, the stimulating effect of the same practice activates her sex energy, awakening her to her Temptress role. She becomes more active while he becomes less so.

Besides this general practice, there is one specific sacred sex technique the man can use to aid gender role transition for him and his partner. This method falls to the man because he typically takes the lead role at the start of sex. This is a way for him to lead himself toward less activity, and his partner toward more.

The technique is called the Sacred Sex Rock. The name has a dual meaning. First, it helps him ease into his role as the Rock. Second, it refers to the action he uses to do it.

The Sacred Sex Rock involves any rhythmic, relaxed, rocking motion during intercourse that gently and sensuously arouses both partners. The rocking motion eases him out of his active state, while at the same time stimulating and activating his partner. You'll find that you can continue this action for long periods in a heightened state of arousal. In time, the rhythmic rocking has a hypnotic effect that makes it easy to slip into ecstasy.

The Sacred Sex Rock can be done in virtually any sex position, but for a specially designed position, see 'Love Swing' in Lesson 3.

Another way to speed the transition is to alternate between conventional sex & sacred sex roles. This is fun sex play that many partners do anyway. Now you will see the evolutionary value in it and appreciate it more. Celebrate your lower & higher sexual natures together.

Last, here is an erotic ritual you can do to sanctify your gender role reversal. Sit or lay face-to-face with your partner, nude. To begin the ritual, he spreads the urethral opening of his penis, as though he were the woman opening to receive her man. She then takes an active role, and presses her clitoris against his urethral opening, as though she is penetrating him in symbolic sexual union.

Aside from the symbolic role reversal of the ritual, you might think it rather odd and kinky. The truth is though, the body parts aligned here are the exact same as those you join in regular sex. During prenatal development, that which becomes the penis in boys recedes as the clitoris in girls. And the genital rift that becomes the vaginal opening in girls fuses into the urethral opening in boys.

So in this sacred ceremony, you are literally reversing gender roles. See Male/Female Androgyny for more details on the physiology of this. The ritual is included at the end of that lesson too.

To add some traditional stimulation to this reverse intercourse, you can alternate it with regular sex. This is yet another way to swing back & forth between gender roles.

Women sometimes require special attention to open them up to their active sexuality. If a woman has been unloved or mistreated by men in her past, or if she doesn't feel entirely secure in her current relationship, she may find it difficult to open her heart and actively express her sexuality. Society may further close her heart by denying opportunities to women and discriminating against them. This especially affects her lovemaking response because the mistreatment comes at the hands of the male gender, which her partner represents.

Sex is a very intimate act, especially for women. Women are not only more sensitive than men, but also the sex act occurs inside her body. It is much deeper and more personal for her. Therefore, a woman must feel safe and supported in her sexuality and in her role as Temptress before she will actively express it.

Men can nurture this by tender acts of affection both during and outside of sex. Gentle kissing and loving massage are as much foreplay for her as oral or manual stimulation. Society also plays a vital role in that its cultural values must accept and honor female sexuality, so she feels free to express it without scorn. When society attaches derisive labels to female sexuality, it suppresses the natural, healthy sex desire in women.

Lower human nature is not always quickly raised, whether for men or women. Be natural and let it come in time. Evolution is gradual, and spiritual growth comes in stages too. Nature, including human nature, moves forward at the royal pace of an elephant. But like that gentle giant, it forges ahead with an inevitability that is the glory in its step.

Each step takes you nearer to the Pure Ecstasy of gender wholeness.

ROLE OF GENDER

The role of gender is to raise life from the limited view that 'I am male/female' to 'I am a gender-complete spiritual being'. It is to remind everyone - whether male or female in body, or anywhere in between - that they are both male and female together, inside. Everyone has both male & female gender archetypes within, and can directly experience the ecstasy of their true inner essence. Everyone can live this inner truth in daily life. It is called gender wholeness, or Sexual Enlightenment.

The role of gender is to transcend gender. It is to integrate and harmonize the two genders into a wholeness beyond the limitations of each. True gender roles create something that was not previously there. From limited worldly gender, the roles create spiritual gender wholeness. They transcend sex and lift us to spirit.

In the world, gender has a similar role. Gender role lets society advance beyond what either gender could individually achieve. It promotes social balance and wholeness to ensure maximum progress.

Gender difference is no cause for conflict. Rather, it is a reason to celebrate. Men and women complement each other to perfection, both spiritually and materially. They each complete the other, while remaining complete within themselves.

Sacred sex celebrates this truth of gender, and presents the Rock & the Temptress as archetypal roles by which to live it. Through sacred sex, men and women discover the Rock & Temptress that both dwell within.

Coming together in Sacred Union, man and woman live true gender roles.



Copyright 2008, Society for Sacred Sexuality - all rights reserved.

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feminine nature    Posted: April 4, 2005 Reply with quote

Why do women relish slow love making? Let me give an "energy explanation"
Women are lunar, receptive and diffuse. A woman's awareness is "spread" throughout all of her love/life committments continuously. A woman needs time to "come back to her center" in order to focus on YOU AND HERSELF ONLY. Thus "foreplay" - a terrible descrpitive- is VITAL in helping a woman 'come in from the periphery" where her awarenes is "on call" to her center where she can surrender in safety. { laboratory testing has conclusively proven that women can orgasm in as liitle as 20 seconds just like men and that women's orgasmic response is exactly the same as a man's once she gets there} So the "trick"is in her "getting there"
Tantrikas and other Sacred Sex Enthusiasts develope the ability to "drop everything and play" whenever they choose because sex is life and the more life energy we have in us the better we feel and the easier life is to live.
Mature sex players take full resposibility for their entire sexual /life experiences. Orgasm is so good for you as to never have to "Wait for the right moment" like the Cialis ad touts. Women ,learn about and experience the TREMENDOUS orgasmic potential which is UNIQUELY yours and develope it. Learn to make love to yourself as you enjoy it -YES AS you ENJOY IT-.then show and tell your lover how you like it. Be assertive! Speak your truth with out embarrassment , apology, or nastiness because if you ain't happy your lover won't be either and neither of you will experience the body/mind healing and FUN which sacred sexuality holds for practitioners.
Yes ladies this is very risky business but is your present experience so great as to shrink from the possibilty of something better /more meaningful because it will be upsetting the status quo which
is so dissatisfying as to make you seek more in the first place?
All change involves risk living fully is risky. You don't like change and risk? Them get buried { most people are slowly letting themselves daily lower into the grave} have done with life and make room for someone who is courageous* enough to live it. It takes COURAGE to live, it takes denial of your divinity to merely exist. DO YOU CHOOSE LIFE OR EXISTENCE.
This has nothing to do with right or wrong it is the ULTIMATE CHOICE and it is remade every moment of everday without exception by all of us . WHAT ARE you choosing? It is ENTIRELY UP TO EACH OF US. The universe does not play favorites it surrenders to those ready to receive ALWAYS AND ABSOLUTELY WITHOUT EXCEPTION. Are you preparing to receive or merely hoping you will "get lucky with God"
"The lunatic Lover"
* Please refer to "Courage: the joy of Living Dangerously" by Osho
published by St . Matin's Griffin for a full explication of what true courage is. Osho is one my Teacher's. A truly remarkable and totally misunderstood {actually vilified} man in his lifetime. His message is a challenging and liberating one. I highly recommend reading ALL of his books as he is one of the foremost exponents of Tantra and Sacred Sexuality to minister in the West.

P.S. The same holds true for men the only difference is in polariy and expression which I will addrees under It's posting. I am not a mysogenist in any way shape or form. The truth is truth for all and each of us male or female and we are ALL female in relationship to God.

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masculine nature    Posted: April 4, 2005 Reply with quote

Our physical anatomy IS the story. Back in the 70's Marshall McCluen{sic} wrote a book called "The Medium is the Message" This is so true in regards to our physical sexuality,
Men's bodies are hard, well defined , and focused outward {penis goes INTO ANOTHER NOT ONESELF unless you are very long and lonely}
Men initiate women actuate. Men are solar , electrical and expressive.
In terms of energy men are warm and heat moves to cold to make it warm , if the heat isn't warm enough the cold will snuff the heat, if it is too hot too quick the cooler water wiil put out the fire before it can warm it up. THIS IS THE WHOLE STORY OF HUMAN SEXUALITY.
Male moves to female not the reverse until AFTER FEMALE HAS RECEIVED MALE , EMBODIED HIM and returns to male { who is now female and receptive } with BOTH male and female energy. This is being in the flow of life and the sole reason for the endurabce sex of mature Tantrikas, Taoists and all Sacred Sex practitioners. Our opinion of reality does not change reality one iota guys and gals. we want to sex long in order to build up the energy to a level which will enable us to leave the gravitational down wardpull of our bodies and travel the universe of infinite possibility in spirit while still IN OUR BODY.
We are living in time of total confusion about how energy works and moves. WE ARE ENERGY IN FORM. Electrical moves to magnetic, positve moves to negative, female ATTRACTS male RESPONDS.
Refusal to accept reality does not change reality. Because men are abdicating their responsibility does not change their responsibility. It is a sign of loss of civilzation when female is disrespected and male is emasculated. MEN, we should be ASHAMED OF OURSELVES for asking women to be men because we men cannot hack the responsibilities of manhood.
What do you mean Russ? Why are you giving your brothers {and sisters }such a hard way to go with this and HOW DARE YOU BETRAY MEN.
I AM NOT BETRAYING MEN. WE MEN HAVE BETRAYED OURSELVES and OUR WOMEN AND CHILDREN by taking the path of least resistance and forcing women to go to war with [ and for us} us which is unheard of in civilized societies except for DIRE EMERGENCIES
and we expect women to take the initiative in sex when we as men have failed to provide our women with the safe space she needs to surrender and open up in sex.
No wonder there is so little respect for men by women! We men want women to do Everything yet we whine and moan like immature teenagers DEMANDING respect when we haven't done any thing to deserve it and everything to deseve the contempt women feel towards us.
Let's stop blaming women for being true to their nature and begin to be true to ours as men. As soon as we accept our responsibility and fulfill it women will melt into us because true masculinity is irressitable for women.
"The Lunatic Lover"

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potential and possibility the energies of THE DANCE OF LIFE    Posted: April 12, 2005 Reply with quote

Let's take a look at the ENERGIES of male and female,

Male is SOLAR: out pouring of energy: POTENTIAL
Female is LUNAR receptive to energy: POSSIBILITY
All of the solar's POTENTIAL , his outpouring of energy, is ABSOLUTELY USELESS until he is RECEIVED.
All of the Lunar's POSSIBILITY, her ability to receive energy and produce life, is ABSOLUTELY USELESS until she is GIVEN TO.

Superiority of either male or female is A MYTH AND A LIE. We are opposite sides of one energy INTERDEPENDENT UPON EACH OTHER for realizing and expressing who we are .
This EQUALITY OF BEING is both the ideal and the real of Sacred Sexuality. Without this we cannot FULLY DANCE.


Don't get scared now folks! REMEMBER: assumption, comprehension, realization = KNOWING/BEING

ASSUMPTION: assume it is so and ACT/DO accordingly
COMPREHENSION : your DOING leads to EXPERIENCE . Experience leads to comprehension/understanding.
REALIZATION : your ACTION leads to EXPERIENCE , experience gives you COMPREHENSION which leads to more action /more comprehension until YOU KNOW / YOU ARE You make it real : infinite potential is infinitely received by infinite possibilty and creates A SUN/SON a new creature
THIS IS THE DANCE and it is infinitely and eternally available to ALL
who simply "start dancing" right where you are, with the one you are with.
THE ONLY LIMIT IS WHAT EACH ONE, and only EACH ONE, OF US ACCEPTS and EMBODIES for ourselves.

Infinite Freedom of Being and Expressing is the Truth

This is "The Good News" Your hearing depends on your action.

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Re: male/female DANCE OF LIFE    Posted: April 14, 2005 Reply with quote

russ said:
[Male:] All of the solar's POTENTIAL , his outpouring of energy, is ABSOLUTELY USELESS until he is RECEIVED.

[Female:] All of the Lunar's POSSIBILITY, her ability to receive energy and produce life, is ABSOLUTELY USELESS until she is GIVEN TO.

Yes, and if we look at that in terms of the roles of 'Rock' & 'Temptress', we see why sacred sex is fully satisfying to each gender.

He holds his energy so he can be there for her always; he can GIVE her everything she wants so that her RECEIVING nature is satisfied. In physical terms, he stays hard for her. On an emotional level, he's always there to love & desire her, rather than losing interest after ejaculating. All this adds up to the inner feeling that she always carries in her heart that he is 'there for me'.

At the same time, by playing her role as Temptress - ETERNAL TEMPTRESS as defined in the main post, where she draws out his desire but doesn't drain him of it - she satisfies his nature: she's always there to RECEIVE his energy, while always leaving him energy to GIVE. He carries the same 'she is there for me' in his heart.

russ said:
Superiority of either male or female is A MYTH AND A LIE. We are opposite sides of one energy INTERDEPENDENT UPON EACH OTHER for realizing and expressing who we are .
This EQUALITY OF BEING is both the ideal and the real of Sacred Sexuality. Without this we cannot FULLY DANCE.

Very, very true.

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Re: male/female DANCE OF LIFE    Posted: April 14, 2005 Reply with quote

Yes! YES ! YES! Gary. This is THE ESSENCE of the "Sacred Dance". We flow into each other, each fully gives AND receives: COMPLETE CONNECTION.
To envision this imagine the male and female symbols lying on their side and joined at the apex of each circle. Infinite connection within ALL OF OUR BODIES. Sweeeeeetttttt!!!!!!!!

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Mae West embodiment of "The Temptress"    Posted: April 20, 2005 Reply with quote

Mae West? C'mon Russ give us a break!
Yes guys and gals Mae West! the original "blonde bombshell" Sex on two feet: big, bold , brassy and both a ground and glass ceiling breaker
for women in Hollywood in the 30's. Without Mae West there would not have been the horde of beautiful, intelligent, Sexpots of the 40,s 50,s and the hugely successful "Adult Film Queens" of today who just as the inimitable Mae did almost 70 years ago produce ,direct and star in their own films as well as own their production companies.
"Broad" is the label of utmost respect given her by the men of both her and subsequent generations. For a woman to be called "A Real Broad"
meant beauty ,brains , moxie /hutzpah/ balls, strength and sexual power
a real" turn on " the complete female package.
Thousands of WW2 sailors owe their survival at sea to their life jacket affectionately called " A Mae West"
Here are some of her famous sayings:
"Is that a pickle in your pocket or are ya glad ta see me?"
"Why don'tcha come on up and see me some time BIG BOY?"
"Masculinity is my religion : I say AH MEN!!!"
"I like my coffee and men the same way: HOT AND STRONG!!"
"Peel me a grape Beulah!"
The sight of this big, confident, super sexy woman lounging in a silk robe with chinchilla neck and cuffs, matching chinchilla trimmed wedgies,bright nails and toes, smoKing a cigarette in a LOOOONNNGGG
holder , batting her eyes and throatily cooing "Is that a pickle in your pocket or are ya glad ta see me BIG BOY?" SET THE STANDARD FOR FEMALE SEXUALITY FOR DECADES.
Ladies say a prayer of thanks to Mae West! She did far more for you than you may ever know!

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Mae the Temptress    Posted: April 20, 2005 Reply with quote

I agree, Mae West is a great example of evolved/active female sexuality. Such a woman knows what she wants, and goes out and gets it. In fact, it's exactly that quality that gives her such sex appeal. Desire is life energy; being true to & acting on your desires shows a spark & vitality that attract people: sex appeal.

Including her as a female role model is valuable for another reason: it refutes the 'starving model' image of sex appeal. Mae West shows that it's passion & zeal for life, not physical looks, that make us attractive to others.

The only caveat I would add with regard to sacred sex, is that the role of the 'Temptress' is one who awakens desire & uses it to lead themselves and others to higher states. In that Mae West broke down social barriers for women, she certainly qualifies. But I don't know about her 'bedside manner'...though it makes you wonder what she might have been were sacred sex around in her day. AH MEN!!

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Re: Mae the Temptress    Posted: April 22, 2005 Reply with quote

Sacred Sex has ALWAYS been around and practised just not specifically under the name.
Mae West presented an 'elevation" of women by insisting she be treated with respect by the men of her time and on her level of accomplishment- this was unheard of before her. She elevated male behavior also because only a GENTLEMAN was allowed to see her { he may very well have been gay too as she was so OVER THE TOP - a prelude to Bette Midler who came to fame as "the Divine Miss M" playing in Gay Bars of Greenwich Village and very much in the VAMP and TEMPTRESS mode of Ms. West}.

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Re: Mae the Temptress    Posted: April 22, 2005 Reply with quote

russ said:
Sacred Sex has ALWAYS been around and practised just not specifically under the name.

Yes, my only point was whether or not Mae practiced it, if we want to put her up as a true role model for the Temptress.

On all her other great achievements that you point out, I wholeheartedly agree. I think Bette Midler is another great example of a strongly desireful woman.

I also think her, and other stars like Kate Winslet & Renee Zelweiger, help to break down the 'Twiggy' beauty stereotype.

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temptress/mystery: can she be both?    Posted: May 2, 2005 Reply with quote

Perhaps some women may recoil at the idea of being a temptress as it implies manipulation and coertion.
So how about MYSTERY. Women are mysterious and no matter how much a man may think he knows his woman she is ALWAYS a mystery. Women are different than men less specific, amorphous ,elusive not quite able to pin down. This mysterous temptress drives men wild with both desire and frustration at times and sometimes at the same time does she not?
The mystery gains clarity as the Rock provides her a solid foundation to build upon and around, This is why a man MUST BE SOLID-THE ROCK.When a man is wishy washy , vague, indefinite he is UNAVAILABLE NOT PRESENT in the way which the MYSTERY needs to reveal herself. Thus many women are labeled bitchy when they express frustration with indefinite, vague, wishy washy men. Women need definition and certainty in order to comfortably weave the webs of sexual and sensual atrraction for the man in their life.
THE MYSTERIOUS TEMPTRESS needs a VERY CLEAR VERY SPECIFIC ROCK OF CERTAINTY in order to reveal her absolutely sexual and magnetic/sensual self SAFELY without fear of ridicule or being called a harlot or some other reference which is pejoratively specific on the one hand and on the other hand SHE NEEDS TO KNOW HE CAN HANDLE HER TRUE SEXUAL/SENSUAL SELF AND satisfy her itch which HE HAS BROUGHT TO FOREFRONT BY HIS DEFINITENESS.

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Re: temptress/mystery: can she be both?    Posted: May 3, 2005 Reply with quote

I agree with your points about 'mystery' in women, and as you say, it's very much a part of her role as temptress. But I mostly want to comment on this:

russ said:
Perhaps some women may recoil at the idea of being a temptress as it implies manipulation and coertion.

Yes, that's true. That's why it's so important that women AND men see the distinction between what we might call a conventional sex temptress and a sacred sex temptress -- because that distinction makes all the difference in the world.

And it all boils down to what she is tempting men to. The common sex temptress leads men to lose their energy, while the sacred sex temptress lures men (and even other women) to enlightenment. She arouses their energy just the same, but instead of wasting it on an explosive conventional orgasm, she seduces them into cultivating it for a sacred orgasm (i.e. without energy loss). That allows him to experience multiple & continuous orgasm, which gives rise to that lucid state of orgasmic ecstasy that is the seed of spiritual ecstasy.

One temptress is a drain on society, the other is its savior. It's vital for women to understand this so that they don't reject the role as demeaning & degrading, and for men so they don't see women as evil stealers of their spiritual essence.

The role of Divine Temptress is the most exalted role in society -- she not only provides the way to enlightenment, but by her mysterious, tempting, feminine essence, she leads us there by our own sweet desire. Women should be celebrated in society for this role, not scorned for it.

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Re: temptress/mystery: can she be both?    Posted: May 3, 2005 Reply with quote

GaryJoseph said:
And it all boils down to what she is tempting men to. The common sex temptress leads men to lose their energy, while the sacred sex temptress lures men (and even other women) to enlightenment. She arouses their energy just the same, but instead of wasting it on an explosive conventional orgasm, she seduces them into cultivating it for a sacred orgasm (i.e. without energy loss). That allows him to experience multiple & continuous orgasm, which gives rise to that lucid state of orgasmic ecstasy that is the seed of spiritual ecstasy.


This is only true if there is a connection between the two which is beyond the physical and expressed in the physical world. True Sacred Sex play leads to an exaltation of both not one above the other. Solar AND lunar are necessary. Just as man needs the feminine lunar energy to "ease the edge" and warm him, so too woman needs the Solar masculine energy to be defined and have the creative authority which is the masculine perogative given to her. This is why man is the Initiator and woman is the actualizer/embodier. Sacred Temptresses will be absolutely drained by men unless AUTHORITY/CREATIVE PEROGATIVE masculine energy is supplying them from WITHIN.



Last edited by russ on Tue May 3, 2005 11:20am; edited 1 time in total.

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Re: temptress/mystery: can she be both?    Posted: May 3, 2005 Reply with quote

Oops, yes Blue blush -- I got so wrapped up in describing what the man gets out of this, that I neglected to say what's in it for the woman. In not draining his energy, she keeps him hard, like a rock, always there for her. This is meant on more than just a physical, sexual level -- with his energy, he can be there for her in every way on every level. Then, as Russ says, SHE benefits from his constancy. Sexually, she has someone who can be with her long enough to satisfy her desires. And on every other level, she has someone she can rely on for eternal support.

Sorry ladies, for that omission.

russ said:
Sacred Temptresses will be absolutely drained by men without AUTHORITY/CREATIVE PEROGATIVE masculine energy supplying them from WITHIN.

Russ, that is a GREAT point. We are so trained to see women draining men's energy because of the physical loss of seed during sex, but we never consider the energetic drain women suffer at the hands of men with no stability & direction in life. Men complain about women going in a million directions at once, but it's because his stable energy isn't there to balance her. Instead, he blames it on PMS.

Guys, if you want your woman to be a Sacred Temptress, be a Rock to anchor her.

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Sexual union is a mirror of Spiritual Union, and a gateway to direct experience of it.
russ
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Re: temptress/mystery: can she be both?    Posted: May 3, 2005 Reply with quote

Amen!!! A hard man is good to find! "If you want a do right all day woman, YOU'VE GOT TO BE A DO RIGHT ALL NIGHT MAN!!!!....... and as long as we're together baby SHOW SOME RESPECT FOR ME!!!!!!!!"
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To be loved deeply by someone gives you strength, to love someone deeply gives you courage. Lao Tzu
russ
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Magnification through Abandon    Posted: May 3, 2005 Reply with quote

I think many men believe they will be diminshed if they worship their women. Men fear the power which women hold in their lives for in truth in order for a man to "feel like a man" he MUST be a king in his castle -he must have authority in his home life. He must rule. This is taken to ridiculous extremes by many very angry wimpy men who seek to "rule by force" because they lack the PRESENCE OF AUTHORITY* which COMFORTS AND STABILIZES a woman and automatically opens her to him WITH HER FULL AND TOTAL SURRENDER.
A woman will naturally surrender to masculine authority because she realizes her true freedom lies in surrendering to authority. not physical domination but authority which defines her infinitely loving nurturing possibility to express definitely and specifically WITH POWER.
Men : if you are to realize your true authority you must abandon /totally commit yourself to your woman. Only in doing so will you be worshipped and honored by this woman who is utterly dependent on YOU for STABILITY AND CERTAINTY which comes from you giving her the AUTHORITY of your TOTAL PRESENCE in her heart: HER ROCK IN THIS WORLD.
Total Commitment yields contentment in certainty , contentment in certainty yields absolute surrender with confidence which yields absolute commitment renewed forever in an infinitely ascending spiral of mutual surrender and acceptance . This is Sacred Sexuality to me.

* For a more in depth exzamination of this masculine /feminine dynamic see Chapter 10 of The Golden Force "The Ocean of Sex: God Man Woman"
available from www.scienceofman.org

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To be loved deeply by someone gives you strength, to love someone deeply gives you courage. Lao Tzu
Gary Joseph
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Re: Magnification through Abandon    Posted: May 4, 2005 Reply with quote

russ said:
....infinitely ascending spiral of mutual surrender and acceptance .

Yes, the beauty of these two gender ideals - the Rock & the Temptress - is that each supports the other and raises the other to sacred status, while maintaining our own as king/queen of our domain.

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Sexual union is a mirror of Spiritual Union, and a gateway to direct experience of it.
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